Saturday, May 9, 2020

Overread at Table 2: from Comedy Sketchbook "The Holdup"

Scene: Bank in the Wild West.

Enter, Bandit, wearing bandana

Bandit [to banker]: Hands in the air, Mr Johnston, this here is a stick up.

Banker: Clayton?  Is that YOU, boy?

Bandit [looks around furtively]: uhhh... why do you say that?

Banker: Because only you and your sister call me 'Mr Johnston.' Everyone else just calls me 'Butch.'  What are you doing, son, trying to hold up this here bank.

Bandit: Well, times are hard, Mr Johnston.

Banker: If they're that tough, son, I got some wood out back behind my house you can chop up for kindling.  I'll pay you fair day's wage, how about that?

Bandit: OK, sure!  And ... can I borrow your horse when I'm done?  I wanna ride down into Greendale and rob their bank there.

Banker: Well, OK.  But only if you promise to get me and the missus some of those donuts from Betty's Bakery on the edge of town.  Wife likes the ones with extra powder.

Bandit: OK, Mr Johnston.   Thanks!   [heads toward door]

Banker: Butch!

Bandit:  OK, thanks, Butch!  [leaves]

Banker [smiles to himself]:  Kids these days.

[Young lady stands up from behind the counter where Banker is.  She wipes her mouth on her sleeve]:  That was so sweet of you Mr Johnston.

Banker: Please.  Call me 'Butch.'

[scene fades]

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