Overheard at Table Three: Numbers 5

Billy: Heard some poor-choicer using the Bible the other day, saying that it was pro-abortion.

Joe: Numbers 5.    When a guy thinks his wife is cheating on him, he can take her to the priest.

Jim: and the priest gives her a concoction that will make her have a miscarriage if she's pregnant.

Bob: and if she's pregnant and she miscarries, then she's guilty of adultery.

Billy: Think I remember that, something about mixing up the potion to give her, barley and water.

Joe: Beer?

Jim:  Old Testament beer.   It's more like mead.

Bob: Makes it sound like the Bible is more of an apothecary manual than a legal text.

Billy: What I find weird is how people who don't even believe in the Bible always want to use it to support their claim.

Joe: Well, it IS for everybody, you know.

Jim: Even those who disagree with everything contained therein.

Bob: Them most especially.

Overread on an iPad at Table 4: Reagan

THIS MAN


HAD ALZHEIMER'S

BEFORE

HE WAS ELECTED TO A SECOND TERM

AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING TO SLIDE BY YOU NOW???

Overheard at Booth 1: Total Misanthrope

Some guy is telling his buddy, "I don't know what's wrong with me these days, I look around and everything I'm seeing it's just seems like I can't stand Republicans, conservatives, hatemongers, those am talk radio guys REALLY set me off, I don't like the pro-lifers, but then the pro-choice crowd seems all like shrill and whiney, and those liberals too, boy do THEY whine, and the Jesus freaks are all holier-than-thou and the athiest gays well, they're just as bad, and this wanting same sex marriage because they want to act like they were victimized like blacks in Selma Alabama, that's awfully rich, especially since the majority of the gay population are middleclass white guys . . .

and I don't like the elderly because they're still hanging on to that WW2 mentality and all anti-immigrant and I don't know what happened to the hippies, because they all became baby boomers and just wanting everything for themselves and the kids aren't much better either, because they'll all like, on their cellphone and sexting and 'hey let's do a flash mob down at Forever XXI, we are SOOOO revolutionary!'   and the generation between the boomers and the techsexed are just embarrassed that they lived through the fashion of the 80's but are just trying to get their kids out of the house and hiding their money so they won't have to support their babyboomer parents then they get to the age of the WW2'ers.

for my money, the ONLY people who actually put up their money, so to speak, to do anything right in the world, are those people who drop everything and go out there and DO something.   Like those guys who have comfy jobs who just quit and pack up the family and go build shacks in Central America or dig wells in Africa, or people who just walk right into the middle of urban America and start cleaning out old lots and try to make gardens or parks out of them, now THOSE are the people who I can actually like . . .

even if I myself just stay here in this booth, drinking coffee with you.

Overread at Table 4: Atheism is the New Religion

from 366.

135.

We used to talk through woods and valleys and

decipher the meaning of God from the water and

rocks and trees, and now

we simply tweet there is no god, nope, never was,

damn.we

killed the old bugger, in 140 characters.

How did we ever live with ourselves

before we got so cool?

Overheard at Table 3: Underworld Awakening

Just paid $4.99 to watch that from Xfinity, and man what a waste of FIVE BUCKS.  

Sure, yeah, I'll admit, THIS is the vampire assassin that I want protecting ME in a dark alley, darn right - Kate Beckinsale may look like a toothpick in a tight black leather outfit, but she kicked total applesauce in two out of the three Underworld movies (the third being a 'prequel')

but good NIGHT, this movie sucked!    No characters, no plot, no direction.   You always know it's bad when they have to write one of the main characters (her boyfriend) kind of 'half-in, half-out' of the movie - that ALWAYS means there's some sort of contract negotiation, or that even the actor knows that this is a turkey, but wants to be brought in for the next installment if he/she can get more money.

Why Kate even agreed to do this one, I dunno.   Maybe the whole budget went directly to her, because the effects were like, what is it?   Are we doing CG or are we doing stop-motion, or maybe a little of both?

And having the 'oh we must protect the child because the child is more powerful than anybody ever before' - LAME!    I would love to see one movie, just one, where the 'child' is supposed to be the savior of the race and turns out just to be some wuss kid.

But no, here we have this twelve year old kid who sticks her thumbs into a werewolf's eyesockets and rips his head apart - which is actually the coolest part of the movie.

So you know the rest is lame!   Personally, I think Kate should return the money of anybody who shelled out the bucks to see this in the theatres.    The only redeeming quality is it had great action shots of Kate looking good in tight black leather, which we can just download from Google images!

Overheard at Booth 1: Jesus was a Woman!

Found a link to this the other day, some site that claims Jesus was a woman, basically using the quote that Jesus told the disciples to do something with their "purses" and since only women wear purses, it makes sense that Jesus was female, and so were the disciples, right?

Good Lord, if we have the time to focus on stuff like this, then we absolutely have way too much time on our hands!

Overheard at Table 4: 13-year-old set on fire

Seriously, just how sick are we as a society that we can produce such monstrosities as this?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/missouri-teen-charged-with-pouring-gasoline-on-13-year-old-setting-the-child-on-fire/2012/04/24/gIQAmT8heT_story.html?wpisrc=emailtoafriend

Taped on to the Door of the Zen and Tao Acoustic Cafe

Café currently closed.   Staff and family being treated to the Avengers.   Have taken flagons of coffee if you want to meet us at the Cineplex.

Overheard at Booth One: Failure of the Dream of Canaan

Reading this book the other day, by this new author called Sylan Hutsell, book called Failure of the Dream of Canaan, it's kind of like told in reverse order, like going backward,this old woman from this time going back theough history to the time where the Canaanite woman begs Jesus to Heal her daughter, you know? But I don't know, it just made me feel kind of weird, you know, because at the end it's almost like she made it seem somehow wrong, as though it like happened, but shouldn't have. All I can say is it just left you with a really weird feeling, you know?

Overread at Booth 3: Lament for the Answering Machine

from 366.

123.

Ah, that
which we used to say
we cannot say any
more, those

words

are lost to a new
ed/gene
r
a
t
i
o
n.

How will they know
that we don't want to talk to
them right now, when
we say
"Leave your message after the beep."
?

When we say
"tape it"
they think
we want to
wrap something
in sticky masking,

not record it for
future posterity.

I used to
be able to tell
 you, that
I'd like to
push
the rewind button
on this relationship.

But there
is no rewind button
any more.