Saturday, February 24, 2024

Overheard at Booth 2: Darker Than Now

"Current events, man, world's on fire and it doesn't look like it's gonna get any better."

"Just look at current events like I do, like a giant comedy routine"

"Yeah but nothing's funny!"

"It is if you don't give a shit how it all turns out."

"That's pretty dark, dude."

"No darker than current events."

"Fair point."


Friday, February 23, 2024

Overheard at Table 1: The Universe Has a Plan

Everyone saying that the "Universe has a plan" is really talking about God.

But saying "The Universe" is something that every one KNOWS to be true, and yet still imbue it with a sense that somehow we are loved, cared for, thought about, and special.

But the people who imbue the Universe with these qualities have been cowed by a world that doesn't want them to talk about God, and so they move these needed qualities onto the created (universe) and off the Creator (God).

Full culpability for this, however, must not be given to the world, or the non-believers, but upon Christians themselves, who have either abused the name of Christ for their own selfish ends, or through their complacency have not presented their testimony sufficiently to demonstrate that God is the One who loves you, cares for you, thinks about you, and holds you so very, very special.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Overheard at Booth 5: Tuesdays



So here we are.  Therapy.  I never wanted to be here.  Never wanted it to get this far.  But we have to do something.  Something to get us back on track.  So I guess this is better than just snapping at each other all the time.

I knew we’d have to talk about our stuff and open up an all that, but it’s already been about a month of weekly sessions and we’re just going around the same old stuff, and the shrink is giving us the same old lang syne…


Jesus, it’s always about communication.  I don’t know how to communicate with Cait, not any more.

I mean, we used to, in the beginning, before the kids and even when they were young, but things happen and then you just, I don’t know, build up layers.  

Let Cait answer some of these questions…


“He never tells me what he needs,” I say to Grace, and she just sits there, like a cat, staring at us both with those eyes, like we’re the mice, and she’s deciding which one to pounce on first.

“By ‘needs’ are you talking about emotional support … or intimate needs?”

What the hell did she just say?

Well, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  I figured she was going to get to that sooner or later.   I don’t really want to go there, but

yeah, I just sighed.

A big sigh.

Devon just gave me a look.

This is always about me.  Dammit.  Isn’t it?  Doesn’t Grace know that we women ALWAYS have to be held accountable for the man’s needs?  Why didn’t she ask HIM that question?   

“I suppose we’re not as intimate as we used to be, but he’s always cold.”


And there it is.  Cold.  Usually it’s the man who tells me that his female partner is the cold one.  Didn’t expect that.   But yes, the moment these two came into my office, I knew instantly that this was their issue.  Which is good.  We can work with that.  Sex is actually the easiest problem to overCUM, even if married couples like to pretend that it’s the hardest.  

Thank GOD their problem isn’t the kids or spending.  This is going to make this SO MUCH EASIER.


“I want to give her … oral.”

There, I said it.  No more beating around the bush.  If we’re going to do this, let’s get it out in the open.

“And I don’t want oral,” Cait says.  And the way she sounds – so cold, so HARD, so committed.

“What is it about oral sexual stimulation that you don’t like?” Grace asks.  Really softly.  I like the way

she’s asked that to Ciat.  A lot better than I normally say things.

“Do you know how many germs there are in the human mouth?” Yup.  THAT’s what she always says.  At least she’s saying it to the doctor.  SOMEone else is hearing this.

“You can always ask him to brush his teeth first.  Gargle, whatever.”

“Still, though … it’s just… ew!”


Poor Cait.  She really has an aversion to head, and she’s not going to get over it easily.   “Devon, what about oral lovemaking satisfies you?  I take it you haven’t in awhile, so you CAN live without it.”

“Yes,” he says.  He’s so nervous about this.  Men usually are.  “It just … when I do it, it gets me harder.”

“You haven’t had a REALLY good erection in years!” Cait says.

“And it’s been YEARS since you let me go down on you!” 

“You know,” I find myself saying, “It IS a natural act.  In fact, there are some women who are just the opposite, who only want oral and ZERO interest in penetration intercourse.”  Oh my God I find myself getting wet at just the thought of it.

Cait says, “Well then maybe Devon should just give some woman oral sex and THEN come home to me.”

“Perhaps he should.”

“Maybe it’s you,” Cait says to me.  Smart woman.  I like her.  I like them both actually.


Good.  I trust her.  Fuck, I can actually see her almost panting already, although she’s doing a damn good job at keeping it in control.   I think this will work.

“Next Tuesday’s session then,” I tell her.  “Devon comes alone.”


What the fuck is going on?



OK, Tuesday afternoon, usual 3:30 appointment.  The receptionist, normally cold, is she … smirking?

Does she know?  Seems like she knows.

I knock on the door.  Grace tells me to come in.  

I shut the door behind me and there she is: sitting in her office chair, legs crossed, long hair flowing down her chest.  Wearing nothing but a white bra. 

Oh shit I can’t breathe.  Her eyes, sharp brown and piercing.

She tells me to sit in front of her.  She tells me that everything is going to be fine, and Grace, such a tiny, slim slip of a woman, suddenly seems so … full.

I take her foot, toes painted black, in my hand, slowly spread her legs apart, and I hesitate for a second.

Then, she reaches over and pulls me into her.


Just get to it, Devon, this is why you are here.  This is what I have been waiting for all week!  

Poor Devon, it HAS been a long time since he’s done this!   I almost want to giggle, but that wouldn’t be professional, would it?  No … help him.  Guide him.  He’ll get better.   

There you are, the rhythm, make a rhythm…  go deeper, move deeper, there you go, you dear man, use the tongue, around the labia, in and out, feel around, yes, you are exploring, explore, find, seek …


I love this I love this I love everything about this, oh lord the taste, that beautifully tart DEEP RICH flavor, my tongue bringing out HER wetness, and the smell of deep ocean, of lush jungle, the smell and the taste and oh god I know I’m probably licking like a fucking untrained puppy dog but it’s here and it’s now and dammit just enjoy this and 

there she is! Moving her hips, under my chin, pressing against my upper teeth, her hands on my head, my hands on her hips her legs over my shoulders, don’t stop now, don’t stop now, keep rocking those hips keep


that rhythm yes, there you are, like the ocean, like the ocean waves, beating beating beating against the waves, just like Corsica that one summer, and oh my GOD!


WOW!  Those thighs are crushing my skull!  Did my ear just pop?  Pretty strong for such a tiny woman!  Holy hell…. 

well, I guess that’s my cue that we’re done.


Didn’t expect that orgasm to be so strong.  Whoa.  Catch a breath here, Grace.

Maybe it’s been longer for me than I thought.  Maybe this … arrangement is worth repeating.

Devon seems much more relaxed now as well, and there is a gleam in his eye.  Poor man!  Instinctively unzipping his pants.  

“No,” I tell him.  “You take that home to your wife.”

He smiles.  He leaves, bulging.   Devon is a man who understands boundaries.  He’s one of the good ones.  I think Cait knows that.


Texting my wife on the way out the door to the car… “come home ASAP”


Walking in the door and Devon is already there waiting for me.  He kisses me with more passion than he has kissed me in years, with an urgency that I haven’t felt … so long!  Fuck, he’s not even waiting to get to the bedroom, he’s ripping down my underwear!  WOW!  Glad I decided to wear a skirt today…

“What if the Amazon guy comes to the door?” I ask, “He’ll see our shapes through the glass.”

“If he does, let him,” Devon says, and the turns me around, and I put my hands on the alcove shelf and Devon is inside me already and he is fuller than I have felt him in so long, Oh my God how I love this man how I love every part of him and how I love his urgency and how I love his need for me and his hand that reaches around to cup my breast and his other hand with my skirt hiked up around my hip and take me, Dev, fucking yes just take me


I love this woman, fuck, do I love this woman, her huge hips, I just want to smack ‘em, just grab them and hold on, I need her, I do need you Cait, god I love you, she is so perfect inside, she has the perfect pussy and it’s mine and my dick is hers and this is for

“Come,” Cait says and I do.  And I do.


I love the thrust and the flow and I love this man, and yes, THIS is a FLOW!  I can tell he is coming a river.  

Then, he releases me and I need a moment to catch my breath …  hello!  Steady there.

“Are you … OK?” Devon asks.

“Better than OK,” I say.  I turn around and I kiss him … HARD.   “I love you!”

“I love you too,” he says.

“No, I mean I REALLY love YOU.”

“And I do really love YOU!”

Then, I say, “Let’s go get some tacos!”

“Taco Tuesday?” he says.  Then, he smirks, “Now THAT’s some kind of double entendre.”

And now we’re both laughing.  Laughing more than we’ve laughed in a long time, and it’s good.  

It’s very good.

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Overheard at Table 2: Her Words

She knew words were powerful, from the first time she wrote a story as a child and made her mother cry.

In high school, she wrote a story about suicide.  Three of her classmates took their lives before the end of the semester.

In college, she wrote a story about wild, unprotected sex.  The University noted a sharp uptick in pregnancies and venereal diseases that year.

In her twenties, she wrote a story about gun violence.  Murders in her neighborhood increased exponentially.

One day, she decided to write a story in which everybody in the world was caring and decent and kind to each other, and everyone lived in peace and then ...

nothing happened.

Nothing changed.

She realized that there was, indeed, a limit to her power.  To the power of her words.

Feeling a deep, profound disappointment, she sat down to write her final story, one in which every country decided to drop all their bombs, everywhere, all over the world.

Thursday, February 15, 2024

Overheard at Booth 3: Temples

Do you hear how the Satanic Temple is putting all their statues in schools and in City Halls all around the country?

I think that's being a bit overblown.

No it's not. There's all these TikTok videos on Instagram about it.  Satan is winning!

No, he's not.  He's already been defeated.  We know that.  You know that.

Well, then why is everybody letting this happen.

I blame us Christians..

How can you blame us?  Our faith?

When you don't present your case as clearly and accurately as possible, you shouldn't be upset when someone else comes along presenting something that's more attractive and seemingly fulfilling.

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

Overheard at Table 2: Writin' Poems and Whuppin' Ass

 "I came here to write poems and whoop ass!"

"So, how's that working out for ya?" "Well, I'm a wussie, so I'm just writin' poems." "Hate to tell ya, but your poems suck, too." "Well, shit."

Sunday, February 4, 2024

Overheard at Table 3: Some More Deacon Notes

NOTES from the Sunday Sermon

"Anger is never an acceptable response from someone who serves the Lord"


Pastor dice
Interrupción es orgullo
y aumenta más conflicto



The sun goes down on your anger

Ayúdame, Señor
interrupción es orgullo

James 1:19

Dad had always
followed a convoluted path:
swift to hear
slow to speak
but he was not so slow to wrath.



James 1:12

My brother said
that he had earned the Crown of Life
he endured
His prize blessing?  A loving wife!



Friday, February 2, 2024

Overheard at Table 4: Two Neighbors

Wife: That neighbor is a real stuck-up bitch?

Husband: Which neighbor?

Wife: The one you confessed was "kinda cute."

Husband: Oh.  What about the one I said was "ugly as a box of rocks"?

Wife: She's all right, I guess ... unless she starts chatting you up.

Husband: I see how it is.

Thursday, February 1, 2024

Overheard at Table 2: Types a Bishes

"So ... are you vicious bishes, or just suspicious bishes?"

"We're delicious bishes!"

"My favorite kind!"