Monday, June 27, 2016

Durd of the Day #4: RACIST

DURD: A word used so often and improperly that it has become devoid of its original meaning


True meaning: a person who automatically assumes that a person of a different race or ethnicity has a certain set of characteristics, usually generated by unfair or pejorative stereotypes.

Current meaning: any person of a different race or ethnicity who does not agree wholeheartedly, completely, and unerringly with every single belief, however minor, held by the speaker.

Durd of the Day #3: NAZI

DURD: A word used so often and improperly that it has become devoid of its original meaning


True meaning: any member of the Nazi party, which rose to power in Germany in the 1930s, led by Adolf Hitler.

Current meaning: anybody you disagree with.

Durd of the Day #2: LIBERAL

DURD: A word used so often and improperly that it has become devoid of its original meaning.


True meaning: a person who adheres to a political and social philosophy of personal freedom and representational government.

Current Meaning: a godless freak atheist sicko pinko commie gay-lovin’ hater of MURICA!!!!!

Durd of the Day: FASCIST

DURD: A word used so often and improperly that it has become devoid of its original meaning


True meaning: any member of a political movement that is characterized by most executive power ceded to a single charismatic individual, to the detriment of all other governmental entities.  Usually the movement is characterized by Nationalistic and/or isolationist tendencies.

Current meaning: a member of the political party that you don’t agree with.

Overheard at the Counter: DURD!

DURD: A word used so often and improperly that it has become devoid of its original meaning

Verble has introduced the "DURD" - because there are so many people throwing words around with absolutely no semblance of the true purpose of the word.   They just know that the word has some sort of negative connotation, so they use it to hurt or to prove some sort of pointless point.

So, my friends, in the next few posts, Verble will give you some of the most common DURDS that have entered into our social consciousness. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Overheard at Booth 1: Downtown Houston Pupusas

So I'm walking to the library downtown today and I see that the Farmer's Market is going on and I've got about six bucks in my pocket so I think ''Why not?  Let's go check out the Farmer's Market."

And I'm walking around and they've got a guitarist and he's not great but hey, I like any street musician, especially in a city where they don't exist, and then I look at the tents and I see one selling pupusas.

And I think "Man I love pupusas I'm gonna get me some!" And so I walk over and they have a sign saying that pupusa plate is $9 - that's 2 pupusas and some salsa.  That's a bit high.   I mean, any pupusaria around the city sells pupusas for a buck, buck fifty - $2 bucks tops for revueltas.  So I ask the girl taking the payment if we can just buy single pupusas ans she says sure - for $8.

I'm like "EIGHT BUCKS! that's $4 each." and I tell her where they can buy pupusas cheaper, and the cook asks, "Where" and I say "any pupuseria in town."   Then I ask where's their store and turns out they don't have one, they're order only.

Then I ask if they have revuelta and the cooks says, "what's revuelta" and I say, "that's everything?" and I'm thinking is this woman EVEN Salvadoran?  I mean she doesn't know what revuelta is, and she tells me she only has frijoles and cheese or pork and cheese.   I mean she's calling it pork and not chicarron, so again I'm thinking is this woman even understanding my Spanish.

So then I decide to see if she's REALLY Salvadoran so I ask if she has one with Loroco.  She responds that Loroco is a specialty item and too expensive to get here.   I don't know if that's bogus or nbot because you can get it at Fiesta and I was about ready to tell her that, but then I just figured she probably means that it would increase the production cost or marginal cost, so I let it go.

So then I asked if they had curtido.  They pointed me to their $9 plate, so I said what the heck just give me the $9 plate.

So I get it and I leave to go back to the library with my hideously overpriced pupusas and then I see all these homeless people hanging out on the edges of the old library building, underneath the shade of the tree, and I'm thinking to myself, "Now how am I going to find a place to sit down and eat these pupusas in front of all these homeless people without being able to share any of it?"

And just as I was thinking that, one guy stretches his hand out to me and says, "Thank you."   That's all he says: "Thank you."  Just like that.  Just like it's already a done deal.  Just like I had bought these overpriced pupusas just for him,

So I said, "Do you like pupusas?"

And he said, "I need food."

That did it for me.  "I need food."  It wasn't even me moving my hand at that point - I was handing him the whole box and I said, "I haven't even touched it, man.  Here you go, enjoy!"

Then I walked on to the library, wondering what the heck just happened.  Then I realized, "Here's what happened - you just chewed out some people who were selling a great food at too high a price and you just gave it to a homeless guy who sits with other homeless people every Wednesday looking across the street at foods they will never be able to afford to eat, soaps they will never be able to afford to buy, and watching people who pretend not to see them at all."

So all in all, I was thinking it was a pretty good day.

Then when I was trying to check some stuff out, the system wouldn't let me, because I had some fines to pay.  That kinda sucked.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

God Bless America!

God Bless America

Yes, there is a god who has blessed America:
The god of war, the god of slaughter,
The god of dead children,
The god of bullet-leaden bodies,
The god of those who have died in schools, and nightclubs, and campuses, and workplaces, and factories, and post offices, and homes, and sidewalks, and streets, and subways, and train stations.
The god of the gun,
The god of the bullet:
That god has blessed America:
Blessed America with a gun and ammunition industry with a revenue stream of $13.5 Billion a year,
Which (to put it in perspective) would give each man, woman, and child living in America a check for $43.54.

Yes, a god has certainly blessed America,
and filled up our halls with our own dead.

This god loves dead children.
This god loves dead mothers.
This god loves dead fathers.
This god loves dead co-workers and teachers and doctors and teenagers and police and homeless and all the dead. 
This god simply loves dead people.
And this god drinks of the blood of this covenant




Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Overheard at Table 4: How We Now Discuss

The Subject:  Donald Trump Revokes the press credentials of Washington Post

Voter:  I disagree with this.  He should not have done that.

Trump Supporter:  CAIR did the same thing. 

Voter: CAIR is not running for President of the United States, an office that is sworn to uphold the
Constitution, including the 1st Amendment.

Trump Supporter: The media lies.

Voter: First, that’s not the point.  Second, it demonstrates that he only wants media when he controls the narrative.

Trump Supporter: He’s a private citizen.  He can do what he wants at his events.

Voter: If he wants to be President, he needs to start by upholding the Constitution.  Including the free press.

Trump Supporter: So do you hate Carson and Sessions too?

Voter: If Trump wants to be President, he needs to start by upholding the Constitution.  Including the free press.

Trump Supporter:  The media lies.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Overheard at Table 2: Cats Write Poetry About Cats

and the guy was saying, "So I was walking out of the room the other day, early morning, getting ready for work, and we have two cats, and both of my cats were just plunked down, right there in the hallway, on their sides, cool of the morning, lazy as get-out-of-town.  And then they both raise their heads and look at me as if to say, 'What?!  What the heck are YOU lookin' at?'

"and then this thought comes into my head, what if cats wrote poetry?  and what would they write about if they wrote a poem about themselves and then it hit me exactly what they would write if cats wrote poetry about cats.  Are you ready?   Here goes . . .

"We are cats . . .

. . . and that is that!"

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Overheard at Table 3: Prince, The Artist Formerly Known as "How do you pronounce that weird symbol?"

Niall Carter "Why is everybody so obsessed with Prince's sex life?   It's like everyone wants him to be gay?  What's up with that?  Why can't they just be interested in the music?  Does it make a damn bit of difference if he preferred girls or guys or guys who used to be girls or girls who used to be guys?

John Steppenwolf  "I dunno."

Niall Carter "To me, if you wanna know, thanks fer askin' - it was all summed up when he went through that stupid period of the symbol.  He changed his name to the symbol but didn't tell anybody how to pronounce it.  I always thought that was being a little dickish, but whatever, his name he can keep the pronunciation a secret if he wants - but anyway, I think the symbol pretty much summed it all up: Prince wanted to be asexual, or polysexual, or amorphous, or ambidextrous or whatever the hell that word is when you're both man and woman."

John Steppenwolf "Androgynous?"

Niall Carter "Yeah!  That'll work.  Androgynous!"

Monday, June 6, 2016

Overheard at the Counter: Socialist Revolution

The barista looks at my Bernie Sanders shirt and says coquettishly, "Are you a ... socialist?"

I smile conspirationally and reply, "I'm a demoCRATic Socialsist!"
Then, I take my $2 coffee, and walk out into the warm Sunday afternoon, feeling quite revolutionary.

Overheard at Table 3: Husband and Wife Are Thinking

Husband, silent over his cup of coffee, is thinking, "She is so lucky to have me.  She doesn't know how many times I've wanted to grab a suitcase, throw all my clothes into it, and just leave her - but didn't."

Wife, silent over her cup of coffee, is thinking, "He is so lucky to have me.  He doesn't know how many times I've wanted to throw a bunch of his clothes into a suitcase and kick him out the door - but didn't."

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Overread at Table 2: from Notes from Underground Revisited

Niall Carter had long since given up trying to read this book.  He left it in the "take a book leave a book" bookcase beside the door of the Z&T Acoustic CafĂ©.   Someone has pulled it off the shelf and now sits at Table 2, reading this passage while sipping a latte and eating a freshly baked raspberry scone:

When it gets right down to it, I mean at the base core, and this is gonna sound harsh, and you ain't gonna like it, but brother, man it's the truth - if you really need an answer as to why God allowed Aurora to happen, or why He allowed Columbine to happen, or why He allowed all the misery and murders and child molestation to happen, is because He allows it to happen the same way He allows people to fall in love, how He allows you to hold up your newborn baby and realize you love that child more than your own life, the way He allows you to paint a beautiful sunset, or sing a beautiful song, or realize that every day is something you gotta hold on to, the way He allows you to remember the sweet smells of some Thanksgiving dinner your Grandma made when you were a kid.

He allows all these things to happen, the good and the bad, to let you know that this is a whole great big world you live in, and that it's complicated, and that it's beautiful as well as ugly, and that you are a part of it, and you can impact it in a bad way, or you can bust your ass to make it better.

Other people are making their choices all the time.   What are your choices going to be?