Overheard at Table 3: Figgy Pudding

Otis Redwing: ... and about these Christmas carols, just what the hell is 'figgy pudding'?

Lucky Moran: I think it's a euphemism for 'pussy'.

Otis: 'We won't go until we get some'?

Lucky: Exactly!

Overheard at Table 3: How Far is Too Far?

Wife ripped my ass last night.

- I take it, not in a good way?

Not at all.  She was pissed off that I had corrected the wrong file for her project for work.  Said that she couldn't trust me to do anything right and that I always fuck up and that she had to get it to her boss this morning and that she can never depend on me for anything and has to now do everything herself.

- Wow.  That's a lot.

Yes, it is.  A lot to take in.

- Wait, wait.  This is a project for HER work?

Yes.

- Then, shouldn't SHE be doing it?

Well, she's not that good at spelling or proofing in Word.

- But still ... I mean, dude!  It's - HER - WORK!

But I'm her husband.  I'm here to help and support.

- Sound to me like she's kickin' the shit out of her support dog.

Harsh dude.

- Friends gotta tell it like it is, man.

  

Overheard at Table 2: To Lead ...

EccentriciTEEs

 

 

TO LEAD IS GREED

 BUT

TO FOLLOW IS HOLLOW

 

 

Overheard at Table 2: Government

"government's trying to keep us down"

"government's ALWAYS trying to keep us down.  The question is - is government trying to actively KILL us?"

Overheard at Table 1: The Great Replacement

I was thinking about the Great Replacement ... the theory created by French White Supremacists in the early 1990s and carried forward by American White Supremacists in the Trump era.

Basically, white people are worried that our great-grandchildren won't be white.

I was thinking about this and it suddenly hit me that I don't care one fig what my descendants look like.  Won't ever meet them, won't know them.  The citizens of my country (if my country still exists in the 22nd Century) can be any color - black white brown yellow green blue teal mauve - it makes no difference to me.

I do hope that they have a livable world, where there is clean water and clean air and a fair legal system by which to redress grievances and ensure equal opportunity for all individuals.  But beyond that: whatever they claim as their ethnic heritage means absolutely NOTHING to me.

Also ... going to go out on a limb here and say that I am not unique in this.  I am absolutely positive that Joe Blow spouting "immigrunts gone replace us!" doesn't care either what Joe Blow XI born in 2103 looks like ... could be black as the ace of spades, but our Joe doesn't REALLY care.  What Joe is worried about now is having all the stuff in his double-wide taken from him NOW - and that's where the Great Replacement really strikes home - "omigawd they're takin' our STUFF!"

I do find it rather amusing though, to imagine what our 22nd Century descendants will think as they read about us (if they are still reading anything by that time) - to think of all those mocha tanned humans reading about their white black and brown ancestors, wondering what all the fuss was about.  

"Why were they so worried about it anyway?" they will say.  "They all got together and had sex with each other anyway and that's why WE'RE all here."

And the last white kid will look at themselves in the mirror and dream of a distant mystical Norman Rockwell past ... and will sigh deeply with the existential loneliness.

 

 

 

Overheard at Table 4: Somerled ...

Somerled

 

 

 

...and Somerfollowed 

Overheard at Booth 3: Rittenhouse

"Don't worry!  Kyle Rittenhouse will have justice.  This newfound fame and glory in the Conservative Right is gonna skyrocket him to megastar status!"

"How is that justice?"

"It's gonna kill him.  He's not prepared.  He not trained for it.  He's got no coping mechanisms.  He'll ride the high and then burn out.  Sputter.  They're gonna find him in a closet with tons of coke in his system, just another rich bloke dead from autoerotic asphyxiation."

"So gross."

Overheard at Booth 2: Monday Morning in Wisconsin

Billy: Someone drove their SUV through a Christmas Parade in Wisconsin this weekend.

Joe: How many got killed this time?

Jim: 5, I heard.

Bob: Must've felt threatened.

Billy: Probably acting in self-defense.

Joe: Another shot in the War on Christmas.

Jim: Prob'ly a Lone Wolf.

Bob: Some guy just having a bad day.

Billy: Depends.  What's his ethnicity?

Joe: That'll decide whether the cops stopped to get him a burger...

Jim: ... or 7 bullets in the back.

Bob: Yup.  Bad days for everyone.

Billy: All around.

Overheard at Table 3: Out of a Job

Today, in the middle of my session, my shrink said, "If people would just exercise and get enough good sleep, I'd totally be out of a job."

I truly respect that kind of honesty.

Overheard at Table 1: Self-Defense

Jimmy: Of course it was self-defense.  He went in there knowing he was gonna need it for self-defense.  Those Antifa are some violent motherfuckers.

Kreg: Funny.  Didn't see them attacking anybody who didn't have a rifle.

Jimmy: That's because Biden doesn't want you to see those images.   Antifa that night killed two others.

Kreg: They did, did they?  How do you know.

Jimmy: I saw the images.

Kreg: Thought you said Biden somehow didn't let those images get out.

Jimmy: I did research.

Kreg: Research?  What kind of research?

Jimmy: Searching the web, dude.  Wake up!

Overheard at Table 2: The Boring Conversationalist

God, my wife just ripped me a new one today.  Says I don't shower right, I don't put on body lotion right, called me stupid for not seeing that the bottle was empty, which is why she had it tilted over on its side sot that we can get the remaining out of it.  Then she went on some rant about how she wants to go out with her friends more because all we ever talk about is work and I don't have anything interesting to say.

What a great pick-me-up!  Whee!  So glad I'm not a suicidal depressive or anything!

Overheard at Table 3: One Joke About Marriage

You know I normally don't like jokes that make fun of marriage, but I thought of one the other day that I kinda like: it goes like this...

When we celebrated our 16th anniversary, I told my wife, "Our marriage can now get its drivers license."

When we celebrated our 18th anniversary, I told my wife, "Our marriage can now vote!"

At our 21st anniversary, "Our marriage can now legally drink."

At our 25th anniversary, I said, "It's time for our marriage to stop playing video games and get a job and move out!"

Overheard at Table 1: Seven Remembrances for Your Writing

SEVEN REMEMBRANCES FOR YOUR WRITING

1) Remember, it doesn't have to win.
    It just has to be submitted.

2) Also, it doesn't have to be good.
    It just has to be done.

3) And - no plot
    No worries!
    That's what editing is for

4) You were born to write.
    The world has drummed it out of you.
    Time for you to drum it back in.

5) Even your nonsense verse is poetic - 
    You have a natural flow for words

6) You are a writer - 
    all those other jobs are just fodder for your novels.

7) The only thing standing in your way is you.
    Take ownership of that fact.

[undated ... but I wrote this specifically for myself]

Overheard at Table 3: Horrorprompt - undated

Cheryl finally noticed
that shadows
were only the split
versions of herself,
trying to let her 
know what she
could have been.

So she took their 
advice:
set her parents' house on fire,

and ignored the screams.

MR

(undated horroprompt)

I do not know if this just sprang out of my head, or if there actually was indeed a horrorprompt that inspired this.  Looking on the site, #1039 from March 23, 2023 was "screams" - So I can use that, even though the actual piece was written at an undated time

2021-1108 <= is the date that I'm using, because that is the open date on the blog that needs to be filled.

Overheard at Table 3: Someone's T-Shirt

LIFE IS 

TOO SHORT 

TO DEAL WITH 

OTHER PEOPLE'S 

VICTIMHOOD

Overheard at Table 2: Cuentos de Cipotes, por Salarrué

 SALVADOR SALAZAR ARRUÉ
«SALARRUÉ»
Cuentos de cipotes
(1945-1961)

 

NOTA: No pude encontrar este libro en forma de libro, solo en un .pdf a este sitio:

https://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/departamentodeletras/es/images/5/53/Salarrue_-_Cuentos_De_Cipotes.pdf

No hubo más información sobre el fecha o casa de publicación, pero creo que es importante para compartir la literatura, especialmente la literatura salvadoreña.

Entonces, voy a tratar a compartir cada de estes cuentos, y espero que les disfrutarían.

El cuento de olis olis catrín y el cañonazo ...............................................................................................4
El cuento del dichoso turis turista............................................................................................................5
El cuento del gringuito regalante que da zapatos y no guante...................................................................6
El cuento de Ongonuco, la boteya bomba y el señor bolo que le salió la culata por el tiro.........................7
El cuento del santo chorchingalero..........................................................................................................8
El cuento del cadaverito chiquito y la loca Catapulta que onde vido vio...................................................9
El cuento de la escuelita minatura, la monjita linda y la tentada de juguete ............................................10
El cuento de la finca arisca y la cangrejera por la juerza ........................................................................11
El cuento de lo que quiero y no quiero, las magiconerías y otras tonteras...............................................12
El cuento de las pensadas de Monchete con cabeza y todo.....................................................................13
El cuento de Nivelito Nivelungo, la gran candelota y el chucho musunco ..............................................14
El cuento de los caramelos embarcados en un bote y el cipotío tiburón ..................................................15
El cuento del alma que salía y la sexión espiritista.................................................................................16
El cuento del diablito que lo tenían preso en la iglesia y que le tejieron la cabeza...................................18
El cuento de Leprocinio que le rompieron la vocacion de pura ingratitur................................................19
El cuento de la Indalecia quera bien india, de Justiano quera bien justo y de la Ambrosia que nuera
ninguna gente.......................................................................................................................................20
El cuento de Ganglio que escamotio las quijadas a tiempito...................................................................21
El cuento del conejo sandiyero que por tantito se salva..........................................................................22
El cuento del jute cavilante de la hermosa fuente y la pepesca orguyuda ................................................23
El cuento del imprudente glis-glis, los chico-chicotes y el culebrerio peligrante.....................................24
El cuento de la moiarra soñadora ..........................................................................................................25
El cuento de la gran enamorada con dolor diumbligo.............................................................................26
El cuento de Bombolio en vacaciones, el chucho Jitler y la fugada ........................................................28
El cuento del telefono cosquiya, los pájaros parados, granos en la nuca y el bárbaro tren don Flomfrufrán
corrivedile............................................................................................................................................29
El cuento del cipotío que sacaba la lengua, por la ventana diuna niña.....................................................30
El cuento del cangrejito descarriado, prófugo de las caniyas, hambriento y desmemoriado de las
entendederas.........................................................................................................................................31
El cuento de Minchito con el mar jedentina...........................................................................................32
El cuento del señor que patió la bolejabón en el andén...........................................................................33
El cuento de los diablos costaludos, la pelotera, mojazón y lestampida ..................................................34
El cuento de Ponche y Chicuete que soñaban de juguete con el chucho ciclista que soñaba deveritas......35
El cuento del loco cuartiyero, mechudo del pelo, que decía tonterías y se mordía los dientes con la mano
............................................................................................................................................................36
El cuento del loro antiparras que hablaba por la boca.............................................................................37
El cuento pe la mula morida que creyó questaba viva y estaba tonta la pogre almita matere ...................38
El cuento del despejismo termino medio casi imposible de describir pero que permanece en la fotografiya
de la memoria de modo indelebile.........................................................................................................39
El cuento de la niña bañada que les toco la traguiata por asustar ............................................................40
El cuento del tambor embrujado que se sonaba sin pañuelo ...................................................................41
El cuento de la lucita misteriosa, el tesoro, el pirata y el tonto derrochante.............................................42
El cuento de gorro gorrito y gorro gorrión con la trompeta y el cajón.....................................................43
El cuento de la Titila y la Camucha que andaban mirando el pulida de la esquina ..................................44
El cuento de la luna de miel y el besote.................................................................................................45
El cuento del misterioso barrigante quiasaber quera y que se supo por fregar.........................................46
El cuento del tren divierta que asustaba por la puerta.............................................................................47
El cuento espantoso que nisiacabó ........................................................................................................48
El cuento de las espantadas inventadas y el premio arronjado ................................................................49
El cuento de Mélico y Caitío, que se bañaron debajo del paragüe murciégalo.........................................50
El cuento del tamborito bombístico que quería ser cultis........................................................................51
El cuento de Temblorete, los con nudos y el cuete burla burla ...............................................................52
El cuento de la ponencia trágica, la vigilancia fructífera y la sorpresa cancerosa que nuera ninguna monja
mareña sino la puritita muerte repentina................................................................................................53
El cuento del platío volante, los intrusos pichiches de ultramundo, el vigilante rubicundo y el fracaso
histórico ...............................................................................................................................................54
El cuento de la codornice que estaba sólita en la solerne solitud de la asoliada soledá ............................55
El cuento de Talnique y la Pelucinga que casi jugaron diamores en una vereda en jlor ...........................56
El cuento del sentado en el zacate, Panduro Carburo y Tintikaka ...........................................................57
El cuento de Kujupujo Cilindron y Perraje Pitoreta que le vieron la sirena a un bolo ..............................58
El cuento del tal Cayito quera ñeto, malcriadoso y diajuste algo idiota de las entendederas....................59
El cuento de las fieras gritonas, hediondas del circo, a diez centavos la acercada....................................60
El cuento de Coco, la pecosa Salpora, el gayo Julián y la mamá juriosa .................................................61
El cuento de la Cuitia y el pedico con la pipiada....................................................................................62
El cuento del cuento que contaron.........................................................................................................63
Vocabulario General.............................................................................................................................64

Overheard at Booth 5: Cryptoquote of the Day

 "The brightest crowns that are worn in heaven have been tried, and smelted, and polished, and glorified through the furnace of tribulation."

— Edward Chapin

Overheard at Table 3: Choices

There's a problem with giving people choices.

What's that?

They always choose wrong.

 

 

Overheard at Table 2: Rattlesnake Bites

"How do you survive a rattlesnake bite?"

"Don't get bit in the first place"

Overheard at Table 1: The Unlived Life

It is the unlived life that leaves behind a body with no scars.

- Giuseppe Salinghetti

Although some members of the family remember it as "'Tis the unlived life that leaves this world a body without any scars."

Overheard at Table 2: Libby and Conner Discussing How to Be a Poet in These Days

Conner: These days, to be a poet, to you have to be Afro-Queer-LatinX-trans-nonconforming?

Libby: Not necessarily, but it helps!