Notes From a National Emergency
Saturday, May 30, 2020
Agent, reporting to superior: So, yesterday we had a stop at a checkpoint west of Las Cruces. Strong odor of marijuana emanating from the van.
Superior: Cool. Any cash?
Superior: Excellent. So, did you hand those illegals over to ICE?
Agent: Couldn't. They were all citizens.
Superior: US Citizens?
Agent: Yes, sir.
Superior: Damn. Well, did you at least keep the cash?
Agent: No, sir.
Superior: Why the hell not?
Agent: They were blonde white females, sir.
Superior: Karens-in- training?
Agent: Yes sir.
Superior: OK ... and I don't suppose you smoked some with 'em?
Agent: But of course, sir!
Superior: And nothing for me?!
Agent: Sir ... you know we always take care of you. Got you a dime bag.
Superior: You're the best.
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