Monday, August 2, 2021

Overheard at Booth 1: If Writers Spoke Like Hip-Hop Artists

 If Writers Spoke like Hip-Hop Artists

Charles Dickens “I am the greatest of the greatest!  Ain’t no one drop tomes like my tomes!”

Williams Shakespeare, “Bitch, please!  ‘tis a crime to ty to touch my rhymes, my plays are the most sublime across all time, women and men alike quicken and quake at the rapt ecstasy of my prosody!”

Stephen King, “It’s in my name, I’m the KING!  I can write one sentANCE and make y’all piss yo’ PANTS.  My stories are chock full of gory glory and glory gory halleLUjah, you know you been read to the dead once I been through ya!”

Emily Dickinson, “My poetry so tight, make you beg to get wid me tonight, but you just keep on beggin, a’right?  Cuz this lady is OUT-A-SITE!!   And don’t you try to get up in here wid no queer beer, this lady deserves the fine wine, before you get to dine, and if you be kind, I might just give you a taste …”

Langston Hughes, “I’m the only one here who is STREET with a BEAT! Boom! Get back to yo’ room!”

Toni Morrison, “My books got the hooks, and they leave the people shook, to the core and more, after MY game ain’t no one ever the same.  Ain’t no other writer ever come CLOSE to the power of my PROSE!”

Jack Kerouac  “I can drop a novel in three days and not even sleep and still drink everybody under the table cuz my prose got the jazz beat and the beat is a beat down and cross the country from town to town and when you get beat by the Kerouac, Jack, you KNOW you done been beat, you don’t even try to get up off the floor, you just stay down, clown!”

Ernest Hemingway “I write novels with six words.”  *drops mic*

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