Thursday, March 31, 2016

Kids These Days

Kids These Days

The Scene: Several Moms and Dads waiting in front of a daycare center, just before being let in to pick up their children.

Here is some of their overheard conversation:

“We love reading time.  She’ll just get up into the bed and read a whole stack of books.  And she’s only 11 months!”

“That’s wonderful!  Mine loves to read too.  Right now he’s going through the classics: Gulliver’s Travels, Peter Pan . . .”

“Mine’s doing his dissertation on Dostoevsky.  The University says they want to give him a scholarship as soon as he learns to walk.”

“Well, mine was walking since she was only two months old.  She’s now figure skating.  She’ll be in the next winter Olympics.  She’ll be the youngest ever, at only 3 years old.”

“That’s wonderful!  Maybe they’ll score her on the new mathematical scoring system that my son developed when he was only 6 months old.  It’s a quantum statistics program that actually solved the mystery of PI…”

“That sounds like what my daughter just did with the medical field.  She just developed a new non-invasive laser procedure for brain surgery.  MD Anderson wants to hire her as President.”

“If we’re talking about medicine, my son amazed me SO much.  He had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, and he unwrapped it himself and then gave me a Caesarian section IN UTERO!  Then, when he crawled out, he stitched me up himself and didn’t even leave a scar!”

“That’s incredible!  That’s almost like my daughter, who at two months had read everything Stephen Hawking ever wrote and then disproved it completely.   She’s already given directions to NASA and MIT on how to build a time machine that will completely alter the SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM!”

“Mine already did that when he was still a zygote.   We’ve lived alternate versions of this same reality for millennia now.”

“Aren’t kids just so smart these days?”

“They sure are!”

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