Friday, September 17, 2021

Overheard at Booth 3: Lucky Moran Discusses Husbandry - Part 2

Lucky Moran: Sooooooo, you know what I was saying about being a husband being so easy the other day.

Otis Redwing: Yeah?  You still doin' good.  Fixin' stuff before being told?

Lucky: Yeah, well, apparently those 'good feels' didn't last that long.

Otis: What'd'ya do now?

Lucky: Pinche tortillas, man.  I mean, she sends me out at frikkin' NINE at night to buy tortillas, and she doesn't like the packaged kind.  She only wants the freshly made bakery kind. But when I get there, they are out of the regular sizes and the only have two packs left of the oversized ones, and I know she hates the oversized ones, so I went and got Mission tortillas.

Otis: I see where this is going...

Lucky: So I get home and she's SCREAMING mad.  'You got the wrong ones!  Again!  I need to do the grocery shopping!  Can't trust you to do anything!'

Otis: Did you remind her about unclogging the sink?

Lucky: Yeahh, I know that wouldn't cut it.  And I tried to tell her that I only got the Mission ones because I knew she doesn't like to use the oversized ones, and then she's like, 'I always use the oversized ones' - and I'm thinking to myself, 'this is a trick, this is a mind-trick!  Been with this woman 17 years and she has NEVER liked oversized tortillas' but then she's like, reading my mind, because then she says, 'I always use whatever size, as long as they are made fresh in the bakery.  If you really paid attention to what I say, you'd know that!'

Otis: Ah, the old, 'If you really loved me, you'd ... [insert thing here].'

Lucky: Exactly.  So tell me, how do YOU do so well in your marriage.

Otis: I set low expectations early on.  Do that, and anything above that seems special.

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