Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Overheard at Table 4: Father's Day

Lucky Moran: I hate Father's Day

Otis Redwing: Why?  All you get are ties?

Lucky: No.  Nobody's bought a tie since 2005.  At least not for anything but job interviews or funerals.

Otis Redwing:  Which you have said before are much like the same thing.

Lucky:  Yeah, every time I go on a job interview I'm mourning the loss of the hope of all advancement.  But the reason I hate Father's day, really is because of all the deadbeat dads out there.

Otis:  How so?

Lucky: Because they make everything so freaking aMA-zing.  For Father's Day my kids are like, "gee dad thanks for sticking around all these years"  I mean, my 17 year old last night said, "Thanks dad for never beating us" and I said, "Most dad's don't beat their children, son" and he said, "You'd be surprised"

Otis: Actually, he's right.

Lucky: See?  So that's why I hate Father's Day.  I get lauded for just doing the basics, the bare minimum, and guys who are totally crap dads probably get some sort of recognition for being a little bit less of an asshole than they normally are.  It's sucks.   It's like why have it anyway.

Otis: Damn, man you're depressing.

Lucky:  So what are your kids getting you for Father's Day.

Otis: They're going in on a new Sea-Doo.   It's my present for always telling them the Wi-Fi password.

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