Saturday, March 31, 2012

Overheard at Table 3: John Carter



I think John Carter's getting a bad rap. They're calling it the biggest flop of the last ten years - they're comparing it to Howard the Duck, for goshshakes!
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As long as they don't compare it to Gigli, it should be OK.
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Sorry, I think they are.
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Ooh. That sucks.
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But it's not that bad a movie! The wife, the kids, we all liked it. It had all the elements: lots of action, blue alien blood splattered all over the camera, huge monsters, swinging blades, laser cannons, gigantic explosions - man as I was watching it I was thinking this was gonna be big! A big hit! I saw it the first day it came out - my wife had actually just finished reading the book and was totally excited. She was thinking the actor was totally hot. My daughters as well, so I figured, cool, if that gets me to a sci-fi flick with lots of kickin alien ass, who am I to complain?
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Sounds all right.
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So I was thinking this has all the elements of all those big hit movies - you know, like Avatar and the first three Star Wars chapters. It had all the special effects that makes these movies hits. The plot might have been a bit thin in places, but with all the scenery and the CG aliens, a cool loyal dog, I just don't get why it wasn't a hit. I mean, there's a scene where the alien bodies are piling up all around him and he's just hacking and slashing and slaying - which was actually from chapter one of the second book, the Gods of Mars, but this movie kind of blended both A Princess of Mars and the second book, but hey, when you've got a scene where he guts his way through a two-story tall furry ape monster, and rips out the back and drops to the ground of the arena dreched in blue blood and five thousand four-armed aliens are cheering insanely, how can a movie like that not be a hit in this day and age?
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Marketing, maybe?
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Maybe so. I mean, other movies are hits before they even hit the screen. They've already got action figures and happy meals. Something tells me that somebody else makes hits and breaks movies before the public even sees them.
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I'm coming to believe that's probably been the case for a long time.
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Except of course, for those indie films that just happen to break out, you know, like Sex Lies and Videotape and The Blair Witch Project, but other than stuff like that, crap man, I think we're getting led around by the horns!
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Sounds about right. For me, I was thinking this movie had to be a hit, I mean, it's got the name Disney all over it!
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Sometimes you can just never tell!

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