Monday, April 24, 2023

Overheard at Table 1: They on a Cruise

Scene: a Cruise Liner - on deck.  A man is standing by the railing and sees a woman suddenly fall overboard into the water.

Man: Oh my GOD!  Woman overboard!  Someone throw her a life preserver.

Another Person: How do you know it's a "her"?

Yet Another Person: Absolutely!  You should use "they" if they have not told your their gender.

And Yet One More Person:  You should be ashamed of yourself, presuming someone's identity like that!

Man: Holy shit, it doesn't matter!  She's ... I mean, THEY ... are drowning.  Quick, grab that life preserver.

    [goes to where the preserver is]

AP: Wait.  How do you know they WANT to be saved?

YAP: True!  Are you doing something against their will?

Man: I just saw her fall!

AYOMP: You just saw THEY fall.

YAP: Wouldn't that be "You just saw THEM fall"?

AYOMP: You know, I'm not really sure.

AP: THEM is still the direct object, THEY is the pronoun.

YAP: Just doesn't sound quite right though.

AP: You need to shake off the last vestiges of your Colonizer mentality, and just let grammar FLOWWWWWW...

Man: For Fuck's sake just THROW THE LIFE PRESERVER AND LET THEY/THEM DECIDE IF THEY/THEM WANT TO BE SAVED OR NOT!

YAP: The Cis-male has a good point.

   [They throw the life preserver overboard]

Man [looking over the railing, shakes his head]: Never mind.  They drowned.

    [Man walks off, looking for the nearest bar]

AP [to YAP]: How do you know he's Cis? Did he TELL you he's Cis?

AYOMP: You mean "Did THEY tell you ..."

[scene ends]




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