Overheard at Table 1: The Man She Married

Today my wife told me that she wanted back the man that she had married.  She meant the man I was when we got married.  That man, she said, was funny and kind and caring and sweet and was always very tender and never got angry and was always mellow and completely in control of everything.

I thought about that man.  My wife is right.  He was a great guy.   Late 20s, still had all his hair, was relatively in shape (no middle aged spread, no arthritis, no back problems).   That guy hadn't yet lost his parents, his grandparents, his wife's parents.

That guy still hadn't gone through raising three kids, one of whom stopped speaking to him 15 years ago.   He hadn't moved states, been though downsizing and layoffs, been fired, been told he was unqualified for a position he'd been working for seven years.  He hadn't faced major emergency room visits for his wife who nearly died from a rupturing gall bladder.  He hadn't yet had to drive four hours to rescue his daughter from a violent roommate.  

That guy hadn't yet had to watch his savings dwindle to repair his house that the insurance wouldn't cover, never had cars die, been stranded, helpless, apart from his kids in hurricanes, hadn't yet reached his fifties and still wondering if he will ever have enough money to retire.

So my first thought after wondering about that great, wonderful, guy, was "That guy didn't fucking survive three decades of this thing called LIFE!"  

But that would have been mean.   So, I just told my wife, "He's still here.  He's still me.  I'll do better."

And she said, "You've been saying that for over 25 years."

Overheard at Table 3: Marriage in Your Fifties

My wife last night, from the other room, out of the blue, just said, "My breasts hurt"

I said, "I'll rub them for you."

She said, "No thank you."

And I thought, 'Well, that about sums up your Fifties!'

Overheard at Booth 1: Live Free by Reading Galatians

2024-0915

Galatians 1:1-9

First of the 13 letters written by the Apostle Paul

Laundromat Preacher - this was the most fun, because people couldn't just walk away and leave their laundry.  He said it was especially fun when they got someone who had just put the quarters in and HA!  they're there for another 45 minutes!

Spring Break Preacher - When asking the question, "If you died today do you know where you would go?" and the partyer would say, "Give me 5 bucks so I can get another drink and I'll answer your question"

Isaiah 64:6 - we are all unclean rags.

    NOTE: read the verse - could be made into a song.

Acts Ch 13:38-39 is Paul AT Galatia

2 Peter 3:15-16 - Peter writes that people twist the scriptures (this goes along with what we are studying in Revelation in our Bible Study Group)  ... this passage also shows Peter elevating Paul's epistles to the lvel of Old Testament Scripture

Galatians 1:3-5 should be memorized as a creed.  Call it the "Galatian Creed"

Overheard at Table 3: Article about Earworms

 

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/10/well/mind/songs-earworm-causes.html?unlocked_article_code=1.KE4.Dtr4.UATJGbgEmV4C&smid=url-share&ck_subscriber_id=2454671364&utm_source=convertkit&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Japan%20gears%20up%20for%20self-driving%20trains%20-%2015007532

Overheard at Table 4: Signing the Praise Team

At Church, the Praise Team has a sign language translator at one side of the stage, signing the lyrics of each song as the band plays.  

In between the second and third song, the translator reached down and took a drink from a water bottle.

I said to my wife, "Signing must be thirsty work!"

My wife ... was not amused.

Overheard at Booth 4: A Mossy Tree

"I really don't believe men when they say they want a sexy woman, or a woman who is hot.  I mean, men aren't really that discerning - men will stick their dicks into a hole in a TREE, for fugssake!"

"Well ... not if the hole is all dried dead wood.  It's gonna have to be at least a little mossy."

"EW!  You are completely disgusting!"

Overheard at Table 1: Cryptograms

 "When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world."
— John Muir
This Cryptogram's Statistics
Success Rate:    92.2%
Average Time:    46 seconds
Record Time:    6 seconds (will0416)
Your Time:    37 seconds
Performance:    Above Average
Difficulty:    
Currently 4.89/1012345678910
4.9 out of 18 votes cast
      

37

6    26    46    138    230    


Try another cryptogram »

Categorize this Quote:
Please click on the category that seems most appropriate below:









Funny
Sad
Inspirational
Thought
Provoking
Clever
Confusing
Stupid
Offensive

Previous Top Solvers For This Puzzle
#
Player
Date
Solve Time
1.
will0416    February 5, 2021    6 sec.
2.
n-j-b    November 6, 2022    7 sec.
3.
nanrich    September 5, 2016    10 sec.
4.
jgl_45    March 12, 2023    10 sec.
5.
azhang941    July 29, 2020    11 sec.
6.
Deanna48 Premium Member    July 23, 2024    11 sec.
7.
ivyk    June 10, 2023    12 sec.
8.
munchlet    October 11, 2018    13 sec.
9.
agneg05    March 16, 2021    13 sec.
10.
attercop    June 4, 2021    14 sec.
11.
ahnoah    April 8, 2023    14 sec.
12.
aaaaaa    May 23, 2024    14 sec.
13.
DefyScience    July 23, 2024    14 sec.
14.
Deatomization4thePeople    May 21, 2013    15 sec.
15.
Nautilus    April 14, 2020    15 sec.
16.
kb83    May 9, 2018    16 sec.
17.
Descifrador    March 19, 2022    16 sec.
18.
DMVJDCPA    July 28, 2022    16 sec.
19.
BirdyBirdyBirdyBird    October 30, 2023    16 sec.
20.
GramBow    April 25, 2018    17 sec.

Start New Puzzle »

John Muir
John Muir
John Muir (21 April 1838 – 24 December 1914) was a Scottish-born American naturalist, author, and early advocate of preservation of wilderness in the United States. His letters, essays, and books telling of his adventures in nature, especially in the Si...  More

Comments on this Puzzle:
abra
February 21, 2014, 3:32 pm
Amusing, and it kind of paints a mental cartoon.
LLapp
April 22, 2015, 1:53 pm
This is so well put, and so terribly unknown to most people.
SippyGurl
January 17, 2017, 9:26 pm
like that tiny root you try to yank out but that just keeps going and going
darkyr
June 14, 2017, 7:48 am
Like the natural gas you try to siphon out from under the neighbors' yards.
phthelen
July 2, 2018, 1:42 pm
A single tariff? oops
Eureka
December 10, 2018, 9:53 am
Lucky for us, John Muir made sure we have beautiful wilderness to enjoy.
318WOZ
February 12, 2020, 8:18 pm
Man With Beard Pulls Root Across County Borders, State Lines -- A man was reported by multiple residents of Sacramento for trespassing as he continually tugged at a root that ran across their properties, according to the Sacramento Police Department. Unrelated local disturbances caused police to lose track of the man, but he was later seen several days later as far south as Fresno before he turned east, still removing more and more of the root as he moved along. Unconfirmed reports the following week put him in the fringes of Las Vegas; one resident of Henderson, who encountered him there, claims to have followed the bearded man along the eastern edge of Las Vegas until he got bored. What appears to be the last sighting of the man--an image captured by a highway camera--occurred north of I-15. He is now rumored to be moving toward Crystal Springs, still doggedly following the root and muttering under his breath about "damned morning glory", and he could be pursued by simply following the unearthed plant, but no one cares.
DrCryptell
August 13, 2020, 6:49 am
I tugged at a leaf the other day. I had to tug so hard it almost caused an 8.0 earthquake. Muir says that some day tugging on a leaf will do exactly that. What happens if you tug a tugboat too hard? Muir predicts: tsunami.
imported_Beverly
March 10, 2022, 6:00 pm
318WOZ, are you sure he wasn't muttering something about bittersweet?
Synonymous
October 7, 2022, 9:38 pm
318WOZ your book is equally entertaining. Nice stories, both.
pickleball
February 19, 2023, 10:10 am
waldo
bees
July 25, 2024, 5:20 pm
Any tips on killing off poison ivy and vinca?