Daughter: Here dad, I have some Ho-Hos I've been saving. Want one?
Dad: Naw, I need to lose some weight. Your mom says she's gonna leave me for a guy with a 30-inch waist.
Daughter: Mom's never gonna leave you, Dad. Besides, she can't get anybody else.
Dad: Of course she can! She's a hottie!
Daughter: I mean, yeah, she's pretty, but come on, Dad ... she's a MOM, not a MILF.
Dad: She is to me.
Daughter: Ew. Dad! Gross! No!
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