Monday, April 30, 2012

Overheard at the Counter: The State of Modern Literature

I don't like books any more. Can't stand them. They are eating themselves. They always try to catch my attention by telling me that they are "unique". This is a lie. Books Re not unique. Every story is the same story and it is the story that has been told since we first learned how to diatinguish a grunt from a growl and call it words. The honor in a book is how it tells and retells this same story, it is the tilt that makes it special, but by God don't try to convince me that it is unique, because it is not. And stop telling me that it is powerful, that it packs a punch,that it will leave me breathless. If I want to see something powerful I will walk into a waterfall. If I want to be packed by a punch I will get myself into a barfight. If I want to be left breathless I will make love to a beautiful woman who walked with me into the waterfall and pulled me out of the bar. Don't tell me that they are timely. Watches are timely, books mark off decades, and centuries. And stop saying thatthey are inspirational. Nothing inspires me but a sunset or the success of others. And atop telling me that it is an outstanding achievement. Birthing a baby is an outstanding achievement. Not punching your boss in the face when she screams ar you for not kissing her royal butt every day, that's an achievement. A book is aimply several million words steung in a line. I love words, totally love them. But books, books I can no longer stand, because the only steing of worss worth reading in books these days are the ones on the back cover that tell me how magnificent this book is.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A View from Table 4

"One More Cup of Coffee"  by Leica

Overheard at Table 5: All Our Sons

One Dad to Another:   The other day I found on the Google history some of the sites my son's suddenly started hitting when he's SUPPOSED to be doing homework.   Had to have a good long talk with him about what porn is and how nasty it is, I mean I was really P.O.'d, because I'm telling him, look - all those girls you're checking out, that's somebody's sister, that's somebody's mom, just like if it was his sister or his mom.   I think that kind of made him think a little, at least I hope . . .

but what really gets me, I think, is the fact that the sites he was checking out weren't even classy!   We're talking some nasty, lo-qual porn, lemme tellya!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Overheard at Table 1: Ballad Compilation

Can you believe I found this in the cut-out bin the other day?   Look at the tracks on this baby . . . it's just called A Pack of Ballads Both Old and Contemporary.

Every song on here is just beautiful - just simply beautiful . . .

John Wesley Harding – Little Musgrave

Todd Snider – DB Cooper

Tannahill Weavers – Harris and the Mare

James Taylor – The Frozen Man

Cry Cry Cry – Cold Missouri Waters

Richard Shindell – Are You Happy Now?

Bryan Bowers – The Scotsman

Bob Dylan – Jim Jones

John McCutcheon – Christmas in the Trenches

Tom Waits – Romeo is Bleeding

Maloney, O’Connell, Keane – There Were Roses

Kevin Burke’s Open House – Oedipus Rex

Nanci Griffith – Tecumseh Valley

The Pogues – And the Band Played Waltzing Mathilda

Monday, April 23, 2012

Overheard at the Counter: TOP TEN SONGS

Every now and again a person must examine their life in context of what they consider to be the top ten songs of all time.    Today is one of those days, and I have realized that several of the songs contained herein have always been on my top ten list (namely "In the Mood") but there are several surprises, which may just be from my current mood.   But here they are, the top ten songs - based somewhat on performance, but some also have strengths because multiple performances show the strength of the song (namely "Moonlight Sonata") . . . but without further ado, hoodoo, or voodoo - here is:

1) Glen Miller - In the Mood
2) Ray Charles - Hit the Road, Jack
3) Aretha Franklin - RESPECT
4) Ludwig Von Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata
5) Heart - Barracuda
6) The Beatles - I am the Walrus
7) JS Bach - Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring
8) Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train
9) Simon and Garfunkel - America
10) Buddy Holly - Everyday

Friday, April 20, 2012

Overheard at Booth 4: American Jesus

The American Jesus said,

"I am the Truth, the Justice, and the American Way."

John 14:6

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Overread at Booth 1: Holocaust Rememberance Day

from 366.


As the bells toll
in Israel,
work stops this morning,
and heads are hung in solemn silence.

6 million.
12 million.
some say only two million.
some even say,
not one.

not one in the oven.
not one made into lampshades.
not one made into soap

this morning,
the bells are rung, rung
in rememberance of
being herded into boxcars,
crowded so together that
children suffocated,
old women suffocated.

imagine staring out through the slats
of a train car at the grey polish countryside
slickering by,
while some unknown corpse slowly aches
against your breast.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Overheard at Table 5: Headline of the Week

Phil: This was the funniest headline I've seen all week, it came from that little widget thing newsfeeds that I get on Windows 7, it just read


Jaime: No joke?!

Phil: No joke. Cracked me up all day!

Jaime: I just feel bad for those Chinese.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Overheard at Booth 4: Staring at my Eyes

Husband: Honey, I want some bonus points.

Wife: For what?

Husband: When I was going into the grocery store yesterday, I saw this guy coming out with a woman who was obviously his wife.

Wife: How was it obvious she was his wife?

Husband: She was out in front mod him and didn't look happy at all. But when I saw what was on his t-shirt I coold understand why. He had this t-shirt that read "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes!"

Wife: How disrespectful!

Husband: That's why I want you to give me some husband bonus points, because at least I'm not THAT guy!

Friday, April 6, 2012

At the Counter: Good Friday

Verble says, "You know, those Medieval painters certainly knew how to illustrate graphic depictions of physical pain."

Lucky Moran says, "That's because they had a really good idea about what physical pain was like. These guys lived this kind of torture."

John Steppenwolf says, "Yeah, nowadays we just thank Him for taking the pain for us. In those days they were using him as an example that pain could be survivable!"

Verble holds up his phone. "Look, here's a snapshot from Niall! He's standing at Calvary."

Steppenwolf, "Hm. Doesn't quite have the same feel with the shanty town apartment housing growing out of the side of the hill."
Lucky, "Two thousand years and you didn't expect any progress?"

Verble, "'Spose you're right. That's some prime real estate. Me, I wish I had the Garden of Gethsemene for a backyard, but maybe that's just incorrect wishing."

The Barista chimes in, "I think you're all really missing the whole point of the day. It's got nothing to do with paintings or places or pain. Today has nothing to do with anything we can see, feel, touch, remember, or even worship. It's all about sacrifice. Sacrifice for no other reason than a love that defies all logic and sanity."

"Wow!" says Lucky. "I didn't know you were that religious."

"I'm not," she replies. "I'm just respectful."

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Overheard at Table 3: Martin

Hey man do you think it's OK that I feel that this whole Trayvon Martin thing is getting out of hand? I mean, do you think there would be such a stink if Zimmerman had been a black neighborhood watchman?

No. I don't think it's OK fir you to think that way. I think we could get lynched by libs if anybody ever heard you talking like that.

But seriously, young black makes get shot and killed by young black males every day! Why isn't there an outrage over all those innocent deaths?

Get away from me. I don't know you, racist.