Saturday, February 26, 2011

At the Counter

Crowd Laughs When Congressman Is Asked: Who's Going To Shoot Obama?
Categories: National News, Politics
10:44 am
February 25, 2011

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by Mark Memmott
From Georgia, the Athens Banner-Herald reports that at a town hall meeting Tuesday night Republican Rep. Paul Broun was asked by a person in the audience when — or who, depending on the person doing the reporting — someone is going to shoot President Obama.
Two things about what happened next stand out:
— The question "got a big laugh," the newspaper reports.
— Broun, his press secretary confirmed, moved on. "Obviously, the question was inappropriate, so Congressman Broun moved on," spokeswoman Jessica Morris told the Banner-Herald.
He responded this way, according to the newspaper:
"The thing is, I know there's a lot of frustration with this president. We're going to have an election next year. Hopefully, we'll elect somebody that's going to be a conservative, limited-government president that will take a smaller, who will sign a bill to repeal and replace Obamacare."
As Politico says, Broun "didn't come anywhere near condemning the question in his response."
Broun, a doctor, was first elected to Congress in July 2007.
The Washington Post's Plum Line blog says the Secret Service has spoken with the person who asked the question, and determined that "he or she was an 'elderly person' who now regrets making a bad joke."

Niall Carter says, "An elderly person making a bad joke? Yeah, that I can understand, because most of the elderly still come from the days when they could lynch blacks without fear of reprisal, but still, since the rest of the crowd, who obviously think that it's OK to talk about shooting our leader, well, that means that we have to ask ourselves, as Americans, this question:

"Is this the country that we want to live in?"

And John Steppenwolf replies, "The answer should be, from any reasonable American, would be, 'No. And that's why I'm going to work to make it better.'"

Overheard at Booth 3:

Let's talk Monday Morning - the rates will be out and we can see where the world is at that time and if it's there, then we can lock it in, but if the oil prices are still skyrocketing because the speculators think that the Suez canal is gonna be overrun by the Muslim Brotherhood and let the Iranians slip through to nuke Israel from the warm waters of the Mediterranean, well then, your mortgage payment is pretty well screwed.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Overheard at Table 4

1: I don't get it. Our pastor was talking yesterday about starting a new series about how all these revolutions in the Middle East were signs of the end of the world. But I thought we as Americans always wanted democracy to spread throughout the world.

2: Nah. Just the democracies where we tell 'em who to elect. Most of the time, these countries, when they set up a democracy that we can't rig, they wind up freely electing leaders who tell us to shove it.

3: Not true! They say they're gonna be democracies, but that's just a lie - like it says in Revelation "They will beleive the lie." The democracy call is just a sham for hard-Islamic movements like the Muslim Brotherhood to rise up and take over, and that'll bring about the end of the world. And that's why we've always got to be over there - to straighten things out.

1: But if the end of the world ultimately is when God puts everything in order - why are we so worried about it?

3: Because we don't want it RIGHT NOW!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Overheard at Booth 3

A mom is sitting with her two children, apparently tweens or young teenagers, and they are sharing lattes after school, and the mom is saying, "I got some chocolate to put in your milk for when you guys are at the house, I don' t want you drinking so much sodas."

The younger boy says, "But I LIKE sodas, they make your tongue all tingly!"

The older girl says, "I don't like milk."

The mom says, "Milk helps you grow, you're always complaining you're still so short, so if you don't drink milk, stop complaining if you don't grow and you always stay that short, then."

The girl says, "That's what high heels are for."

The mom says, "Oh whoa!"

The boy says, "I think she's been reading your magazines, Mom."

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Overheard at Booth 3

Hey, did you hear that the government is going to try to bring charges against that WikiLeaks guy for espionage?

Isn't freedom of the press protected by the Constitution?

Everyone thought it was, but then they're talking about enforcing the Espionage Act of 1917. Here, check it out:

Dang - that's some hard core stuff. That $10,000 fine, is that in 1917 dollars? Do you think they'll adjust for inflation?

No kiddin'! What crazes me out is the fact that I've always heard the Republicans blasting Woodrow Wilson for being such a mamby pamby liberal, I mean, Glenn Beck even blamed him for the housing crash of 2008, for gossakes, and here he is putting into place a law that'll get you thrown in jail just for even talking BAD about the military!

Sounds to me like we're drowning in our history but we still have no idea what we're swallowing!

Overheard at Table 4: Freedom of Religion

and then there's religion, you know, listen, I heard my pastor the other day in Sunday School going back to the whole Katrina thing, which, you know, happened years ago, and he was saying there wouldn't have been so much looting if they'd had the Ten Commandments posted at every school in the district, you know, like having some plaque with these phrases on it would suddenly make everybody do the right thing in a crisis, you know, and I was sitting there thinking, you know, this is the same church that tells me that we shouldn't lean on the government for anything, and here they are making the case for the Ten Commandments at every school? That seems, like, you know, a little hypocriticacull, if you ask me, and

that's another thing I was thinking, you know, about that First Amendment, and I went online and I read it and the way I read it it basically is saying that the government can't stop you from worshipping the way you want to, and it can't tell you how to worship, and I was thinking that putting the ten commandments in front of every public building is basically telling us


they want us to worship, which is againt the Constitution, and then I'm thinking that if we really want people to follow Jesus more, then we gotta be better ourselves, and we gotta get out there

more, and talk about Him more, and then

let US be those plaques in front of the buildings, in front of the schools, in front of the courthouses . . .

so I'm gonna take my Bible out there, right after I finish my coffee here and I'm gonna go stand outside and start reading, I think I'll read from Galatians because man I like those letters of Paul especially when they start telling you to be strong and fight the good fight, win the race, and all that, and yeah I see you looking at me and I know it seems weird and all that but,

yeah, I think I'm becoming one of those crazy guys shouting the gospel from street corners.

Kinda like John the Baptist, whaddizzit? Voice crying in the wilderness?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Overheard at Booth 1: Knight and Day

the lastest movie we saw yeah wus this really kewel one about this guy who's a freakin cool kickapp'secret agent and how he goes for Cameron Diaz and all the CIAs out to like kill'im y'know and the whole thing is just like, there's explosians and


there jumpin' off cars on the freeway and from one semi to the top of another & he's jumpin off motorcycles & they go flyin'through the air and he's like landing on the hood and he sez Hey (whatevver'er name is) you look great in that dress!" and then he's shootin'the badguyz and then

there on his island and she makes it mess up by callin'out on 'er phone & they pick up the signal and then a plane starts bombin'shipply outta the island and I forget how they git outta that'un but then

there at the end and it's just really kewel and she saves HIS butt for once, and they end up drivin'down the shores of Mexico in this rockAWEsome car and

it's just totally RIP! I mean, it's got Tom Cruise in it and EVER'THING!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Overheard at Table 5

Niall Carter is telling Paty Valera, "Hey, it's not really all the sauces in the world that give it so much flavor, but the spices withIN those sauces."

and Paty Valera furrows her brow and asks him, "Do you really even know what it is that you are saying?'

and Niall says, "No. Not really. Well, at least not always ALL of the time."

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Overheard at Table 3

A group of co-workers were sitting at Table 3 during the lunch hour yesterday, and I overheard them talking about what just had happened in Egypt.

A short hispanic woman with a loud strident voice said, "Isn't it great? This is what America does for people. We make people be free!"

Another man, middle-aged, dirty blond hair, said, "How did America help the Egyptians be free?"

The woman said, "Because all the world wants our freedom!"

Another man, white, sharp-nosed and small-eyed, said, "You're fooling yourself - they're just gonna become another one of those Muslim countries that hates America. The Muslim Brotherhood is gonna take over and they're just gonna be another Iran."

"No it's not," said the blond guy, "The Muslim Brotherhood took part in this, yes, but they're only about 15% of the population. Say what you want, this is a populist revolt."

"And don't forget," said the short woman, "it's all the young people who have taken to the streets. See, that's how it's done, those countries send all their young people over here to go to college and then they get the ideas of our freedom, and they take it back to their countries and they have revolutions to bring freedom."

The sharp-nosed man said, "That's just ridiculous!"

And the other man said, "Millie, while I really like your optimisim - I really do! - but actually, only the rich kids get to come over and study, and what they learn really is just how to keep the oligarchy in place. They come from the rich, and all they learn from America is how to stay rich."

"And how to kill us when they follow the Koran!" said the sharp-nosed man.

"Tyler, and what I gotta tell you is this isn't an Islamist revolution. The Egyptians are mainly Muslim, yeah, that's true, but not every Muslim country is the same. Just like you can say America and Ireland can be called Christian countries, but they're totally different."

"Yeah, all the Irish want to come over here too!" said Millie.

"Seriously, though, really, this is not a revolution inspired by America - but they do want the same things that we enjoy here in America - a voice, free press, the right not to be beaten by secret police for no reason at all (which, by the way, is something that President Bush changed - that's a side-note!)"

Tyler said, "Hey, don't go gettin' on Bush, you Obamacare liberal hippie!"
(But he was only half-joking)

And the dirty-blond man said, "All in all - this was a Facebook/Twitter revolution. This was orchestrated on Facebook, updated by Twitter, engineered by a Google exec . . . this is a prime example of how the Internet and communication has aidied a populist revolution. Frankly, that notches up my respect for the Internet. It's finally something that can be used for more than hatespeech and porn."

Tyler said, "Hey, dude, don't knock my hobbies."
(But still, he was only half-joking!)

Millie, with her strident voice, said, "You men! Joke all you want, but it's America that put these values to the world, and we're still the best country to live in! USA ALL THE WAY!"

Tyler said, "Weren't you born in Mexico?'

And Millie replied, "And that's exactly how I know!"

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Overheard at the Counter

Niall Carter, reading his phone, says, "Verble just tweeted an article that says there's a study showing that they might have a pill for PTSD."

John Steppenwolf asks, "Before or after?''

Niall Carter, still reading, "Looks like right there on the battlefield. Along with the other medic supplies, a little pill to take care of it, right before it sets in."

John says, "Great. Just great. That's all we need - another example of treating an illness with another disease!"

Niall says, "Well, I've got a shure-fire 100% cure for PTSD - it's called DON'T GO TO WAR!"

The Barista, refilling their mugs, says, "Amen to that!"

Overheard at Table 1: A Case for Monogamy

She: . . . I want you to go to another hospital.

He: this one's fine, I don't need to go. they did the bloodwork, it came out the way it came out.

She: chase said that you and she were cheating on me, and she's got all the diseases n'sh!^, and I want you to go get checked out.

He: told you i DID.

She: noooooo, I mean at a hospital that i want you to go to. That one has the girl that - she'll do anything to get into your pants. I don't want you getting tested by someone who's gonna make it look like you're OK just so she can get into your pants. I know she wants to get into your pants - I SEEN her.

He: she's NOT gonna get in my pants.

She: Kristi did! And she weren't even trying that hard! i know you n me was broken up that week, but sh!#, really? I mean, for real? noooooah, i want you to go to that clinic downtown, where they got doctors i can trust!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Overheard at Booth 4: William Stafford "What's in My Journal?"

What's in My Journal?

Odd things, like a button drawer. Mean
things, fishooks, barbs in your hand.
But marbles too. A genius for being agreeable.
Junkyard crucifixes, voluptuous
discards. Space for knicknacks, and for
Alaska. Evidence to hang me, or to beatify.
Clues that lead nowhere, that never connected
anyway. Deliberate obfuscation, the kind
that takes genius. Chasms in character.
Loud omissions. Mornings that yawn above
a new grave. Pages you know exist
but you canĂ¢t find them. Someone's terribly
inevitable life story, maybe mine.

-- William Stafford

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Overheard at Booth 2: The Egyptian Revolution

Darwin tells Lydia, "It's exciting what's happening in Egypt, don't you think? I mean, they're having a real revolution - like, a REAL one, with kicking out the oppressive government and everything, I mean, I keep hearing on the news all these guys talking about how Mubarak should go - I mean, this is some exciting stuff, right?"

Lydia says, "Well, yeah, I s'psoe so."

Darwin says, "Well, don't sound so overboard with excitement, right, OK?"

Lydia looks at her iPhone, says, "I keep seeing the tweets coming through, and that's cool, and yeah I saw online all this streaming video of guys on the street trying to crowd the camera, get their voice out, you know . . ."

Darwin says, "Yeah, that's what I'm talking about, that's what's so mind-blowingly cool - why aren't you stoked about all this?"

Lydia says, "Well, it's just that I don't see any women out there protesting. I don't hear them talking about women at all. I mean, what good is change if it's just going to be some young guys who keep women stuffed inside the house replacing some old guys who keep women stuffed inside the house."

Darwin says, "Really? Man, leave it up to a chick to spoil a perfectly good social revolution."

And Lydia, for the life of her, can't tell if he's joking or not.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Overheard at Booth 1

I was trying to find a radio station on the clock radio last night, some station that I could wake up to in the morning, y'know, and all I was getting was static and in between the static was all this hate radio

- hate radio?

yeah, like guys all talking about how the government's out to control our minds and how the health care is just them wanting to tell us what to do, and all sorts of spew . . . what's that word you like to use for "spew"?

- I dunno . . . vitriol?

yeah, that's it! Vitriol! but they we're laying it on, y'know, and I realized man I can't wake up to this ship, y'know, this would just put a ruinous start right at the top of my day, and then I realized I was on AM, so I switched to FM.

- any better?

I s'pose. FM was all in Mexican, but that was a lot better than some guy telling me how bad it is that Obama wants me to eat my broccoli.

- broccoli? For real?

yeah, man, for real, this guy had been saying, AND THE GOVERNMENT'S GONNA TELL YOU YOU CAN'T EAT FRIED FOODS! THEY'RE GONNA TELL YOU YOU CAN'T EAT MCDONALDS! THEY'RE GONNA TELL YOU YOU HAVE TO EAT YOUR BROCCOLI! and I was thinkin', man, why are these [EXPLETIVE DELETED] treating us like we're five year olds? I mean, only kids and people who still think like kids are gonna pick up on that and use it to fight the government.

- it's been working for them for over ten years now.

are we all really that much like stupid dweeby children?

- do you really need an answer to that?

No, I s'pose not . . .

- so . . . what'd you finally wake up to? What'd you set your alarm on?

I put in a Smithereens CD. Green Thoughts. Woke up to that.

- the classics: they never go out of style!