I think I'm becoming a radical.
My kid came home last night, they've got him memorizing the first lines of the Declaration of the Independence.
Yeah! That part's great. We should all know about our ideals - but get this: he's firmly convinced that it's the Preamble to the Constitution, and that the freedoms listed are in the Bill of Rights.
Do you think he's confused?
Well, he's 12, so I think he should know better, I mean, if they were teaching him better. It's the muddled up that gets me . . . that, and the other thing.
What other thing?
Well, it's what came out of my mouth when he started reciting it.
Well, it's best if I show you. Recite the Declaration.
OK. "When in the course of human events . . . "
No no no. Sorry. Start with the second paragraph.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal . . .
- they just become unequal when they don't work hard enough.
". . . and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights . . ."
- unless the giant corporations want to take away those rights, or keep them for themselves.
". . . that among these are Life . . ."
- unless you are a doctor who performs abortions or a medically ill inmate on Death Row in Texas.
". . . Liberty . . ."
- unless you are labeled an enemy combatant born anywhere in the world, since we've declared the Earth a battlefield.
" . . . and the Pursuit of Happiness."
- unless you are gay, lesbo, bi, transgender, progressive, liberal, feminist, pacifist, Democrat, evolutionist, scientist, intellectual, union worker, drive a Japanese car, or are any religion other than Protestant Christian.
Wow. I'm amazed you're not being followed right now.
I think I am. See those guys in the suits at the counter?
Them? I thought they were going to a costume party dressed as the Blues Brothers.
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