Husband: How's your back doing, baby?
Wife: It hurts so bad now I can barely stand it. I just want to go home and lay down.
Husband: So sorry.
Wife: Do you know anywhere we can get some morphine?
Wife: Yes. I don't know how much longer I can stand this.
Husband: Geez, baby, do I look like the guy from Breaking Bad?
Wife: OK, then how about our daughter, then? She's got some friends who are nurses.
Husband: I'll text her.