Monday, December 21, 2015

Overheard at Booth 2: Maybe Next Year

[A man talking to his friend]

I can’t really explain it.  I guess you could call it just this feeling of . . . nothing really.  Everything seems so dull.   Yesterday we were at church and the choir was singing and the music was playing and they had this Italian a-capella group – kinda like those Tenor guys, five of these guys, truly world class, then they also had some sort of alternative rock band for a few songs, and it’s all supposed to get us ready for Christmas, but all I could think of was the guy sitting next to me yawning because he was bored, and the teenagers all around me, checking out their phones.  All these kids squirming in their seats, even though they’ve all got iPads that are supposed to keep them busy, right?

Maybe it’s because Sara’s been sick with these pains for a few months, but she’s just been getting super bitchy, so that morning, she had just torn me a new one, saying I don’t care about the kids because I’m not the bio-dad, and me telling her hell I’ve been there for since before they were in kindergarten, doesn’t 14 years count for something? And of course it doesn’t, and our daughter refused to come to church today, no surprise, and then Sara’s all like, ‘You don’t respect me anymore, you’re cutting me off and being rude to me in front of the kids and Bobby’s picking up on it’ and she’s all like, ‘I don’t even want to be around you don’t even touch me’ …

And then I’m sitting there thinking about how I can’t get the kids any presents this year, because we just dropped two grand on my car and Nina’s car and we’re just tapped out.  Sara and I didn’t get the raises we were expecting, and her bonus was next to nothing . . .

So I know we’re supposed to be thinking about the birth of Christ and He is our savior and I get that, I really do, but it’s hard you know, it’s just hard.  Everybody’s just walking around like zombies, just wanting to get this Christmas over with and behind them, and I tried to have a little joy, you know, bring a little light, but it just hit me yesterday, sitting there in the middle of music, hearing it but feeling nothing, I realized that I’m just like everybody else, just wanted to get this thing over with, and maybe next year,

Maybe next year will be better.

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