Overread at Booth 3: Lyrics to "Marshall County"

Overheard at Booth 1: Living in a Sitcom

Mother: ... and another thing about you guys always being around is that your father and I don't ever get to have sex!


Daughter:  Mom!  EW!  GROSS!!


Father: Oh dear.


Mother:  Well, it's true, that's why you and your brother need to move out.  But NO!  You're always upstairs watching TV or Facetiming your friends in the living room, just being all loud until all times of the evening. 


Daughter: Well, all you have to do is tell me 'Hey go stay at a friend's house' and I'll split, no problem!


Mother:  FOUR MONTHS!  I haven't gotten any in four MONTHS!


Daughter (clapping hands to her ears): Oh, my GAWD!  I'm living in Schitt's Creek!


Father (to himself):  Hasn't been four months for me.

Overheard at Booth 3: Discussing Putin and Navalny

I swear, this month in Russia is like some scene out of Kafka:




Navalny:  I want to run for President.

Putin: You cannot run for President.

Navalny: Why can not I run for President?

Putin: You have criminal charges against you.

Navalny:  For what crime am I being charged?

Putin:  The crime of wanting to run for President.

Overheard at Table 2: Lucky and Otis Discuss Being Men of a Certain Age

Otis: I don't even know why you're even bringing this up.

Lucky:  Well, you know, a guy's gotta cover all bases.

Otis: Well, even so, you won't have THIS base covered.   

Lucky: That's what I'm saying!  If my wife died or left me, I'd never know if a chick was really into me.  I mean, how could I ever be sure?

Otis: If a chick was into you, you can be sure it would be for you.  Chicks who aren't the woman who built a life with a guy are only into a guy if he's good looking or has money.

Lucky:  Right.  Someone they think that can give them security.   And even women who helped a guy build his fortune is probably only in it for the money if the guy's not good looking, because that money is also HER money.

Otis: Right.  Which is why it would suck to have to start over, to be sure.

Lucky: But it wouldn't be too hard to tell for both of us.  Because if a chick was into either of us, it would have to be for our personalities, because we ain't rich and neither of us are that good looking any more.

Otis: Speak for yourself, homie.

Overheard at the Counter: Niall Runs in the Rain

Niall walks into the café with a grin and a shake of the head.  Walking to the counter, he sees that the Barista is already pulling an espresso for him.   He nods his thanks and says to Lucky Moran, who is sitting nursing a latte, "You would not believe the run I had at lunch the other day!"


"I'm certain I would not," Lucky says.


"It was the day that it suddenly got super-chilly and there was a rain coming down.  Totally invigorating!  Well, I'm running the trails, and back through the enclave, which runs by the manufactured pond for all the ducks, y'see ... and as I'm jogging by the tip of the pond, there are these two ducks sitting there, face to face, like they're talking to each other ..."


Niall then takes a sip from the small white cup.  Smiles at the Barista.   Says to Lucky, "Then, these two ducks turn their heads toward me as I'm walking by, and so I says to them, 'This is just like water off your back, isn't it now?' and you know what they did then?"


"Quacked?"


"No! They, both of them, turned to face the pond, giving me their backs, and then they just ruffled their rumps!  Poofed their feathers, shaking their butts!"  Niall put the palm of his right hand over the fist of his left, then spread his fingers and shook them wildly.   "That must have be duck-talk for some foul gesture!"


Lucky smiled.  "Maybe that's where we got the phrase 'flipping the bird'."

Overheard at Table 3: After Thanksgiving

Wife: Hey, wanted to say thanks for you being so great at Thanksgiving.


Husband:  Didn't do much.


Wife: That's just it!  You let me have some "girl-time" with my cousin I haven't seen in twenty years!  You didn't do what you usually do, like, take over the conversation and make everything about you.


Husband: Glad to help out.


Wife: I can't believe we talked so much!  Wow!  So much to catch up on, she was telling me all about her kids, her husband ... you know, she can't stand him...


Husband:  Really?


Wife: Not at ALL!  They've been married about twenty two years, about as long as we have.  And she says he ruined their trip to Nice - you know, south of France - because he's always so controlling and has to be at specific places at specific times.


Husband:  Hm.


Wife: ... and he's always on her case about how much money she spends, and how they never have money and he is always controlling the checking account and paying bills out of it.


Husband:  Sounds like he's trying to stay on top of things.


Wife: ... and then I realized - she was describing YOU!


Husband: Wifey say what?


Wife: She was describing you.  And I realized I can't stand all those things about you, either.  So controlling.  Never let me do anything at all.  Thinking about just totally pissed me off.  I'm still pissed!


Husband: So, looks like we won't be seeing your cousin for ANOTHER 20 years.

Poem of the Day: Twimberly

Twimberly

We were giddy with anticipation

the day that the new soda shop opened.

We waited outside until the sign hanging in the glass windowed doorway

Turned from CLOSED to OPEN

and we rushed in, all eight of us, raggedy and rapscallion and loud and yelling and

pushing each other and it was grand, and everything was a smile,

and the memory of that day still tastes like root beer and licorice and

cotton candy and I can still feel the cool of the shaved ice that Maurice

smeared across my cheek, and we are all still eight years old,

even as the sun now sets on each of us,

 

in different towns, in different houses,

scattered across the country, separated by the turns of centuries.

 

Yet, even as the last whip of evening orange strips fade,

the voices of ourselves still echo in my ears,

and they always sing me to sleep.

 

 

 

 

MR

2017-1128