Thursday, May 28, 2015

Overheard at Table 2: Musician Jokes

"My friend Bethany asked us today who we thought was the best rock bass player in the world was, and it reminded me of a few of my favourite jokes about musicians, like

"How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?   Seven.  One to change the lightbulb and six to stand around saying, 'I could to that.'

"Or there's this one: What's the difference between a bass player and a fourteen inch pizza?   A fourteen inch pizza can feed a family of four.

"Then there's my favourite: a guy is out in the jungle and he's never been there before and he has this guide showing him around, and he hears these drums from somewhere far away, and they don't sound like they're stopping, and he asks the guide, 'So what do the drums mean?' and the guide says 'Aw don't worry about the drums.  The drums are fine.  When the drums stop, then worry.'

"These drums go on for days, and days, and every once in awhile he'll ask the guide, 'Seriously, man, what's the deal with the drums?' and the guide will reassure him, 'Don't worry, my friend.  The drums are fine.  When the drums stop, then you worry.'

"Finally, after days of this, he's about to ask the guide again, when suddenly the drums stop.  He looks to the guide, who has thrown himself on the ground and looks like he's trying to hide himself underneath a rock.  He says to the guide 'What's up?!  What's going on?'

"And the guide looks at him with a face of sheer terror and says ...   'BASS SOLO!'"

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