At the Counter: Verble's pages on his iPad

News Breaks

February 29, 2012
07:26 EDT
USB, GS, JPM, WFC, C, MS, BAC
theflyonthewall.com:
Dimon will 'be damned' if JPMorgan doesn't see record profit soon, FT says
JPMorgan Chase's (JPM) CEO Jamie Dimon assured investors with certainty that last year’s revenue declines were temporary and not a seismic shift, stating, “We’re telling you it is cyclical. I’m not hedging that,” while speaking at the company's analyst day, according to Financial Times. He added, “I’ll be damned if we don’t have record profits for the next year or two,” as quoted by FT. Reference Link :theflyonthewall.




And here's my favourite:


from investorplace.com 2-29-12:

JPMorgan: Accounts with Under $100,000 Are Afterthoughts
Regulations blamed for increasing costs on banks
Feb 29, 2012, 11:29 am EST By InvestorPlace Staff

JPMorgan Chase & Co. (NYSE:JPM), now the largest U.S. bank by assets since it leapfrogged Bank of America (NYSE:BAC), is not exactly well-liked among the “little guy.” JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon has said that the wealthiest Americans need more tax breaks. Dimon has also said so-called Volcker rule to limit proprietary trading by big banks says “if you interpret it, you can’t even make markets for your clients.”
If small-time investors and consumer bankers need more fuel for their fire, here it is: JPM execs recently went on the record saying that most folks with less than $100,000 are actually a burden on the bank.

Specifically, JPMorgan Chase said that 70% of its customers with less than $100,000 in deposits and investments will be unprofitable following regulations that cap lenders’ fees.
“Lost revenue has to be replaced with higher share of wallet and customer penetration,” Todd Maclin, chief executive officer of consumer and business banking at JPM, said in a recent presentation. “You have to get your costs and where you spend your time, to the fullest extent possible, more in line with where the opportunity is.”
In short, if you’re a small-time banker… you really won’t end up mattering that much to JPMorgan Chase.
Is that just posturing by the bank as a way to push Congress and regulators to ease guidelines that are increasing costs? Maybe. After all, telling your customers they don’t matter is dangerous move that few businesses would make without some kind of ulterior motive.
But for those who think that banks and financial institutions don’t care a whit about customer service and are just out to stick it to the little guy… well, this soundbite may just be more proof.
, said about 70 percent of customers with less than $100,000 in deposits and investments will be unprofitable following regulations that cap lenders’ fees.



Verble says, "Any person who has an account with JPMorganChase Bank and who DOES NOT CLOSE THEIR ACCOUNT either has a machine doing their breathing for them, or else they esteem themselves lower than canine feces on the bottom of their shoe."

Overread at the Counter: Third Grade on the Playground, 1977

from 366.

58.

Something
with a swingline came rotten through the schoolyard,
part curls
and rough jeans, the yellow sunlight glazed her lineback shoulders,
each freckle
seemed to blaze the same ferocious crimson
as her fist
connected with my eye,

and then
there was the sun, fading suddenly with purple clouds
swelling,
swelling, I thought idly maybe it was going to rain,
felt
something like raindrops on my cheek, but rain drops are
not so
thick, not so with this metallic taste,

the laughter
was all around me, but distant, as distant as the
blacked out,
ribbon-holed sun, the laughter seemed almost
comforting,
like a cushion against my own tears, and

with my
remaining eye, I saw her snatch up her lip gloss
from
underneath the swingset, where I’d knocked it out of her hands,
then she
gathered her girls and as a group, migrated to further sun.

Overheard at Table 3: Baby Names in England

A: Didn't you hear? Last year in England the most popular baby name was Mohammad!

B: So?

A: So? That just shows you that the Muslims are taking over the world - they've already got England.

B: Do you know what the most popular baby names are here in America?

A: Oh, Jesus don't tell me it's Mohammad!

B: No, it's Jacob for boys and Isabella for girls.

A: Just like in those Twilight vampire books?

B: Exactly. It just goes to show you - people name their babies after the people they worship.

Overread at Booth 4: 055

from 366

55.

We forgot in one another, the
pain, what a
shame, ruling out
another heatsick day,

we wander for cover with our sweaters up
over our heads in the unforgiving rain, opening
car doors, slamming shut behind us as
we drop our car keys beside the seat

and looking out the windows at the
streaks of other rugburned
passengers
slide slowly down
stormdrains,

and we say,
what you lose you someday
will regain.

Overread at Booth One: Letter to a Christian Nation, Note to the Reader

The first paragraph of the preface "Note to the Reader" from Sam Harris's book Letter to a Christian Nation reads:



Since the publication of my first book, The End of Faith, thousands of people have written to tell me that I am wrong not to believe in God. The most hostile of these communications come from Christians. This is ironic, as Christians generally imagine that no faith imparts the virtues of love and forgiveness more effectively than their own. The truth is that many who claim to transformed by Christ's love are deeply, even murderously, intolerant of criticism. While we may want to ascribe this to human nature, ti is clear that such hatred draws considerable support from the Bible. How do I know this? The most disturbed of my correspondents always cite chapter and verse.



I photocopied that from the book, because it is a very important paragraph, and in it contains all that we need to remind ourselves as Christians about how we need to evangelize. We can never call someone to Christ with hateful speech, ire, and especially not with murderous threats, or personal attacks, no matter how well-intentioned.

Look at how the people who attacked his book made Christ look. The God of Love, the God of Creation, who ripped into our time just so he could grow up and get murdered for us? And we make Him out to be the murderer! The One who was killed by lies, and we as Christians have made Him a liar.

Mr. Harris believes that Jesus Christ is a hate-monger who will send all of us to Hell (and send us there Himself) at the slightest provocation, if we dare question Him. And Mr Harris is right to believe that way, because as Christ lives in us, the only true example anybody will ever have of Him is how we present Him through our words, our actions, and our selves.

I keep this paragraph to remind me of how poorly we represent Him, and to use it as an injunction to do better. And in that way, I can say without irony that God has actually used Mr. Harris's anti-Christian message to prompt me to be a better Christian.

Now, how sweet is that?!

Overheard at Table 2: DSK again!

Did you hear that Dominic Strauss-Kahn is in the news AGAIN? Seems like he's being busted for engaging in a prostitution ring. He says he didn't know they were prosititutes.

Of course not! He's probably saying, "But I thot zey all LOVED me!"

Overheard at Table 3: Beatles - New Wave

Found this great album yesterday, it came out in the 80's . . . man, I never knew that all these guys were on this tribute album . . .

Beatles - A New Wave
Track List

The Replacements - Come Together
The Smithereens - Dr. Robert
The Talking Heads - Nowhere Man
Run DMC - Taxman
The B-52's - Baby's in Black
The Police - Every Little Thing
The Bangles - Penny Lane
The Go-Go's - Back in the USSR
Duran Duran - Paperback Writer
Tina Turner - Lady Madonna
The Cure - And Your Bird Can Sing
Prince - We Can Work It Out
ZZ Top - I Am the Walrus
Tears for Fears - Hey Bulldog
Simple Minds - Fixing a Hole
Cyndi Lauper - In my Life
Eurythmics - Cry Baby Cry
Bruce Hornsby and the Range - You Never Give Me Your Money/The End