Overheard at Table 3: Two Documents Every American Has an Opinion About but Which They Have Never Read

The Constitution, like the Bible, is a document that every American has an opinion about but which no one has actually read.

That's a bit harsh.

Not really.  When you understand that there are people who literally - not figuratively, but LITERALLY - spend their entire lives studying either one of them, you quickly realize that any doofus on social media who spouts off about "the founding fathers" or "the Bible was written by desert nomads" is just kinda full of shit and doesn't know a damn thing.

And a lot of times those people who spend their entire lives studying those two can be completely wrong as well.

EX-ACT-LY!  And if they can be wrong, then everyone else is even MORE wrong.

Overheard at Table 1: Earthquake

#EverydayErotica280 709 Earthquake

She said she wanted sex like an earthquake.

I said, well, the best I can do is like a sandcastle.

Mmmm, she said, on the beach, with waves hitting the shore!

I said, more like under the kids' swingset in the backyard.

Overheard at Booth 3: Going to the Gym

So, I'm now going to the gym regularly.

Good for you.

Yeah, every morning, before work.

Nice.

My wife noticed that I'm always there at the same time, right before 5am and headed back home at 6am.  She thinks I'm seeing a woman there.

Well, are you?

Actually, I'm seeing three women.  Sisters.  They live in a house in Oakland, California.  They fight demons.  They're on screen 4 right above the treadmills.

Overheard at Table 3: Are You Listening?

"All I'm saying is that I just want you to listen to me for once!"

"I am listening!  I've been listening to you tell me about your work today ... in great detail!"

"Fine then, what was I saying?  Tell me."

"You were saying how you went out to a site visit with Roger and the golf cart that you use to drive across campus almost went into a rut and then the students just showing up for class this year are always looking at their phones and never paying attention and you nearly ran into three of them just getting across campus.  Then when you got to the Library where you had to check the access controls of the doors, the Provost came out and she got all pissy because she thought you were the one who accidentally shut the door, catching her blue skirt..."

"AHA!"

"What?"

"Her skirt was GREEN!"

Overheard at Booth 3: Winter Brushes

 

 

Winter Brushes
 
Smooth pencil chalk marks
Against cloud-grey canvas leaves.
Winter brushes skin. 

MR
2021-0906

[NOTE:photo from 2011-0527.  Original below.  First and last photos have been filtered for pencil-sketch effect]

Overheard at Table 3: What is Destroying America

 what's destroying america is this worship of the wealthy.  it sets up an unattainable goal.  you wanna be just as wealthy as the rich, and when you can't achieve it, you just feel worthless, then you think that they got their wealth by being somehow better than other people, and that turns into a worship model: their opinions matter more, their ideas are the ideas that everything thinks should be followed.  And that is what they use to make more money, to consolidate more wealth, and thus, increase their power.

and how does that destroy america?  Seems to me that only makes it stronger.

how do you figure that?

well, they got their money somehow.  That means somehow that they are just naturally smarter.  Gotta follow smart people, y'know.

talking with you, I think I might need to change my opinion.

good to hear.

yeah, the wealthy aren't what is destroying america.  It's dipshits like you who think they are worth frothing over.

Overheard at Booth 1: Where Did I Come From?

Small Child: Daddy, where did I come from?

Dad: Well, son, I found you in a cardboard box in a Wal-Mart parking lot.  Along with a litter of kittens.  At the time you were cuter than the others.

Small Child: Gee, thanks, Daddy!

Dad: In hindsight, though, I shoulda taken the calico.