Overheard at Table 5: Headline of the Week

Phil: This was the funniest headline I've seen all week, it came from that little widget thing newsfeeds that I get on Windows 7, it just read

KATE WINSLETT'S TITANIC 3D BREASTS BANNED IN CHINA


Jaime: No joke?!


Phil: No joke. Cracked me up all day!


Jaime: I just feel bad for those Chinese.

Overheard at Booth 4: Staring at my Eyes

Husband: Honey, I want some bonus points.

Wife: For what?

Husband: When I was going into the grocery store yesterday, I saw this guy coming out with a woman who was obviously his wife.

Wife: How was it obvious she was his wife?

Husband: She was out in front mod him and didn't look happy at all. But when I saw what was on his t-shirt I coold understand why. He had this t-shirt that read "Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes!"

Wife: How disrespectful!

Husband: That's why I want you to give me some husband bonus points, because at least I'm not THAT guy!

HE IS RISEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE IS RISEN INDEED!!!!

At the Counter: Good Friday

Verble says, "You know, those Medieval painters certainly knew how to illustrate graphic depictions of physical pain."

Lucky Moran says, "That's because they had a really good idea about what physical pain was like. These guys lived this kind of torture."

John Steppenwolf says, "Yeah, nowadays we just thank Him for taking the pain for us. In those days they were using him as an example that pain could be survivable!"

Verble holds up his phone. "Look, here's a snapshot from Niall! He's standing at Calvary."

Steppenwolf, "Hm. Doesn't quite have the same feel with the shanty town apartment housing growing out of the side of the hill."

Lucky, "Two thousand years and you didn't expect any progress?"

Verble, "'Spose you're right. That's some prime real estate. Me, I wish I had the Garden of Gethsemene for a backyard, but maybe that's just incorrect wishing."

The Barista chimes in, "I think you're all really missing the whole point of the day. It's got nothing to do with paintings or places or pain. Today has nothing to do with anything we can see, feel, touch, remember, or even worship. It's all about sacrifice. Sacrifice for no other reason than a love that defies all logic and sanity."

"Wow!" says Lucky. "I didn't know you were that religious."

"I'm not," she replies. "I'm just respectful."

Overheard at Table 3: Martin

Hey man do you think it's OK that I feel that this whole Trayvon Martin thing is getting out of hand? I mean, do you think there would be such a stink if Zimmerman had been a black neighborhood watchman?

No. I don't think it's OK fir you to think that way. I think we could get lynched by libs if anybody ever heard you talking like that.

But seriously, young black makes get shot and killed by young black males every day! Why isn't there an outrage over all those innocent deaths?

Get away from me. I don't know you, racist.

Overheard at Table 3: John Carter

I think John Carter's getting a bad rap. They're calling it the biggest flop of the last ten years - they're comparing it to Howard the Duck, for goshshakes!

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As long as they don't compare it to Gigli, it should be OK.

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Sorry, I think they are.

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Ooh. That sucks.

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But it's not that bad a movie! The wife, the kids, we all liked it. It had all the elements: lots of action, blue alien blood splattered all over the camera, huge monsters, swinging blades, laser cannons, gigantic explosions - man as I was watching it I was thinking this was gonna be big! A big hit! I saw it the first day it came out - my wife had actually just finished reading the book and was totally excited. She was thinking the actor was totally hot. My daughters as well, so I figured, cool, if that gets me to a sci-fi flick with lots of kickin alien ass, who am I to complain?

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Sounds all right.

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So I was thinking this has all the elements of all those big hit movies - you know, like Avatar and the first three Star Wars chapters. It had all the special effects that makes these movies hits. The plot might have been a bit thin in places, but with all the scenery and the CG aliens, a cool loyal dog, I just don't get why it wasn't a hit. I mean, there's a scene where the alien bodies are piling up all around him and he's just hacking and slashing and slaying - which was actually from chapter one of the second book, the Gods of Mars, but this movie kind of blended both A Princess of Mars and the second book, but hey, when you've got a scene where he guts his way through a two-story tall furry ape monster, and rips out the back and drops to the ground of the arena dreched in blue blood and five thousand four-armed aliens are cheering insanely, how can a movie like that not be a hit in this day and age?

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Marketing, maybe?

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Maybe so. I mean, other movies are hits before they even hit the screen. They've already got action figures and happy meals. Something tells me that somebody else makes hits and breaks movies before the public even sees them.

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I'm coming to believe that's probably been the case for a long time.

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Except of course, for those indie films that just happen to break out, you know, like Sex Lies and Videotape and The Blair Witch Project, but other than stuff like that, crap man, I think we're getting led around by the horns!

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Sounds about right. For me, I was thinking this movie had to be a hit, I mean, it's got the name Disney all over it!

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Sometimes you can just never tell!

Overheard at Table1: Great Mom

Ricky is saying, "I read this online yesterday and this really bugs me when they say this, but there was this mother in Arkansas or Arizona or somewhere, and they found her in her house, dead with her three kids. She had shot the three kids in the head and then killed herself. And get this, all the neighbors said she was a 'great mom.' 'Great mom!' Can you believe that? I say, no. No, sorry. She wasn't a great mom. A great mom doesn't shoot her children! I think that should be a prerequisite for being a great mom. Not murdering your children = great mom.

"My mom was a great mom. She wanted to kill us! But she never did!"