Overheard at Booth 5

Poe: Heard on the BBC yesterday about that Scottish kid who was pretending to be a gay girl in Syria, being tortured by the police.

Hoffmann: Heard about that - for a week "she" was the only news coming out of there. The whole world was praying for her.

Poe: Yeah, and it turns out to be a straight college male with an agenda.

Plath: Don't they all have an agenda?

Eliot: What kills me is all this blurring the lines between fiction and journalism. Seems like everybody with internet access these days wants to play the poet. Seriously! If everyone is a writer and a poet now, where does that leave us?

Poe: Quality, my friend. True quality of prose - or poetry - or prosody - will always shine through.

Plath: You're an optimist. You think quality will be rewarded. But you forget that fecal matter invariably rises to the surface . . .

Hoffmann: . . . and some of the best waters are buried on the bottom of the ocean.

Overheard at Table 1: The Green Hornet

I just watched the Green Hornet last night. What a piece of s#!) - and I can say that because that's every other word in the movie. Kid you not. "S#!)" must have been used at least two thousand times, in fact, I think the writer must've been on contract for getting a dollar every time he stuck the word into the dialogue. Sure made him some money.

Gol-LEE what a disappointment. I mean, with all the cool superhero movies coming out these days, they span the gamut: dark, slick, bright, goofy, straightforward action, moody - I mean most are done fairly well, a lot are really good and some are fantastic, but this thing? Seriously, it's like they just wanted to play to a sliver of a segment of the teenage circuit - those 15 somethings who still think it's cool to curse when the parents aren't around and dream of going to college just so they can see what keggers are like. This movie wouldn't even appeal to the college crowd themselves.

Even the cool special effects are too intermittent to hold any kind of attention. And yeah, sure, maybe they could have worked with the idea of making the superhero an unlikeable slacker, but there needs to be some sort of real redemption, some sort of actual character growth, and the writing just fell short.

Basically, that's it: The writing killed this movie. Which is sad, because the last guys I ever want to pan are the writers, but boy did they stink of fecal matter throughout this two hours of poo.

Overheard at Table Two

Lyle, hands around his coffee mug, says, "I remember you were talking about that sniper bumper sticker the other day when I saw another one just as I was coming here, it said

YOU KEEP THE CHANGE
I'LL KEEP MY RELIGION AND MY GUNS."

Steve says, "Ah yes! Just another soul lost to corporate lies. They think their eyes are opened but they've really been deceived."

Guy says, "What's that part there in the Bible where Jesus says - or maybe it was the letters of Paul - where it's written that there will be many false Christs?"

Steve says, "Revelation, maybe?"

Lyle admits, "Man, I sure envy those who can quote chapter/verse, but I wasn't never one of them."

Guy says, "Well, I've been thinking . . . we've always thought that He was saying there would be a bunch of false prophets rising up claiming they're the Second Coming, and we've been looking for leaders of mega-churches, or charismatic demagogues, but what if . . . what if the false Christs that He was talking about are in the Churches themselves? You know, the ones that go with the party line of 'I've been saved, but let's bomb Iraq!'?"

Lyle says, "You mean the 'Crusader' Christians."

Steve says, "Personally, I've never thought anybody could really see the love of Christ coming at them at a thousand feet per second."

Lyle, finishing his coffee, says, "It can't. I've only ever seen the love of Christ in either two hands closed together in prayer, or open palms going for a handshake or a pat on the back."

Overheard at the Booth 2: Self-Diagnosis in the Internet Age (Playing Doctor)

When I started my practice, it was still at a time when people had respect for their doctors. Nowdays everybody just comes in with their own diagnosis that they picked up on the Internet.

So they think they know better than you?

Yeah, like 11 years of school and $200,000 in student loans doesn't count for ship against a Google search.

I know! Last month Ista had a sore throat and these little red and white dots at the back of her mouth and I looked around and every site kept telling me that she had cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. God, by two am I was sure she was a goner! Heck, the only alternative that I found was that she had AIDS.

It was probably just strep throat.

It was! She went to her doctor the next day. Strep.

You could have just called me, I would have saved you the trip.

Yeah, but I didn't want to bother you. I figured if I researched a little bit it would cut down on the time it takes to diagnose.

Hm. Maybe that's what my patients think. They probably think they're doing me a favor by trying to play doctor.

That, and also because it's fun!

A Very Nice Picture of the Human Heart

from Buzzle.com

Overheard at the Counter

Niall Carter, looking at his phone, blurts out, "Jesus has a Facebook page!"

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jesus/104332632936376?sk=info

John Steppenwolf says, "You didn't know that?"

The Barista, handing Steppenwolf his Cinnamon Frappe, says, "I like His status: JESUS - PUBLIC FIGURE."

Niall says, "Like we've brought Him down into our little status 'box'."

Steppenwolf says, "You've been reading Your God is Too Small."

"Yeah, thanks for that. It's a good little one. Little too dated back to the 50s, but still got some good points . . . we need a new one now for this - Jesus on Facebook! Does He also tweet?"

Steppenwolf says, "I'm just waiting for the text that from Him that says FLASH MOB RAPTURE ------- RIGHT NOW!"

The Barista says, "All I know is that I'd hate for Him to 'unfriend' me!"

Left at the Counter

With a note written on the inside:

Read this again with new eyes.

Remember that you don't have to burn words in order to destroy them.