Friday, May 20, 2016

Overheard at Table 2: Limp Celery

Lucky Moran: So last night my wife and I are making veggie stew, and she asks for the celery, so I pull the celery out of the fridge and I hand it to her and you know what she does?   She takes it like she's about to chop it up, then she says, "Wait, this celery's old."

Otis Redwing: Old celery?

Lucky Moran: That's what I said.  "What do you mean?" I said, and she says, "Look at this.  Celery's supposed to be firm, thick.  Stiff." And she starts shaking this celery in my direction, and saying, "this is limp.  Flaccid.  This celery is useless.  Absolutely useless if it's not hard."

Otis Redwing: Oh God man are you going with this where I think you're goin'?

Lucky Moran: And this limp celery is limping around my face, and she's saying, "Well, I guess I have to use it.  I'll just chop it into little pieces."  And finally I say, "OK OK I'm sorry I'm not 25 any more! Things wear out, OK?!"

Otis Redwing: Speak for yourself.

Lucky Moran: She pauses for a moment, then she tries to tell me that's not what she meant.  But she meant it all right.  Maybe not consciously, but oh she meant it!


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