Sunday, March 6, 2022

Overheard at Table 3: Gas Prices

"Wish everyone'd stop complaining about the high gas prices.  I mean, it's not like paying an extra dollar a gallon is going to make you have to choose between rent or heat or light.  Effin give up your lunches out for a week, or hell, ONE dinner out.  Give that up and you got the extra cash for the gas!

"And besides, there are positives to high gas prices: people start to carpool more, which gets more cars off the highways, which reduces wrecks and road rage.   Saves also the wear and tear on the cars not being driven.  Also, makes people plan their outings better, so they save time overall.

"Me, I see high gas prices as a more accurate measurement of the cost of raping Mother Earth of her natural resources.  But again, that's just me."



Friday, March 4, 2022

Overheard at Booth 3: MBS's Modus Operandi

Just read an article where MBS says that he's tired of getting asked questions about Khashoggi.  He says, "If that's the way things were done around here, Khashoggi would be 1,000th down the list."

To me, that doesn't sound much like a refutation.  And it sure don't sound like he's sorry the guy's gone.

Mohammad Bonesaw Salmon, ladies and gentleman.  


https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/04/mohammed-bin-salman-saudi-arabia-palace-interview/622822/



Thursday, March 3, 2022

Overheard at Table 4: Fish City Grill

 

 

Fish City Grill, Beryland Mall, Beryland TX

 

Cajun, and y’all know what that means… spicy.

Some of you Cajun food lovers might actually consider it not as spicy as you’d like it, but seriously, why does everything have to burn?  Breaks Rule #1 of Food.

OK, so we walk in, and the host is so stoned that for a moment he seemed not to understand why we were there.  I was thinking, man what is the deal with the weed in Beryland?  ALL these restaurant workers are so baked!

He was able to find his way to our table and our waiter was sober (thank the Lord) and while he couldn’t count off all the appetizers or describe them in any detail, he made a great attempt to do so, which, in these days, is better than nothing.

We had the Smok’n Hot Shrimp, which, if you’ve ever had Bang Bang Shrimp from Bonefish, this is the plate for you.  Spicy but no burn, just a delightful sting.

My wife thought the Garlic Caper Chicken was passable.  I had the Andouille Chicken and of course, immediately wondered why I do this to myself.  Andouille always sounds good, but the burn … lawdy!  (Sidenote: I took the majority of it home and had it for breakfast: pan fried and mixed with two eggs over easy helped to curb the burn and left me full and satisfied for the next day)

My wife had the bread pudding.  She offered to share, but this happens to be my fasting month, for which I’ve given up both breads and processed sugars.  So I got to enjoy the delicious aroma and the watch the wonderful steam pouring forth from that volcano of delicious syrupy goodness.

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Overheard at Table 2: Culture of Perfection

Current Culture: You are beautiful and perfect JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Person: I want to change my name, my gender, my looks, my identity.

Current Culture: We totally think that's awesome TOO! 

Person: Good, but I wasn't asking your permission.

Current Culture: And you SHOULDN'T!  Never let anybody tell you what or who YOU ARE!  Only YOU KNOW!  AND THAT IS SO PERFECT!!

Person: You can stop talking now.

Current Culture: Going to tell EVERYBODY JUST HOW ABSOLUTELY MARVELLOUSLY PERFECT YOU ARE!!!!





Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Overheard at Table 4: Masochist

COMEDY SKETCHBOOK

[Camera opens on two guys at Table 4 in the Zen & Tao Acoustic Café]

Guy 1: So I get that in real life I got everything, all the advantages: I'm a straight white male, American, Christian.  But I'm also a bit of a masochist, so I needed a place where I can be vilified for being Christian, mistrusted for being male, and dismissed for being white.

Guy 2 So you got on Twitter.

Guy 1: I got on Twitter.

[Screen fades]







Friday, February 25, 2022

Overheard at Table 2: BJ's Brewhouse

BJ's Brewhouse, Beryland TX

Went to BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse after dropping off some jewelry to be repaired at the nearby Jarrod's.  Friday night, 6:00pm, the place was already bustling.  The obviously bored hostess told us it'd be a 20 minute wait.  She was spot on about the time, but when we asked to change our seating from 2 to 3 (because we decided to ask our son to join us), she appeared tremendously irritated.

When she finally took us to be seated, she showed us a table.  My wife asked if we could have a nearby booth.  She slapped the menus down on the table and said, "I'll guess I'll see what I can do" and walked off.  We sat.

After 5 minutes, she brought another family to the booth.  I told my wife, "I suppose that's a 'no,' then."

The waiter was much more friendly, but that's because he had the glassy-eyed looked of the pleasantly stoned.  He did seem a bit perplexed that we only were drinking water, though.  We ordered the Avocado rolls and a soup, a burger, and Mediterranean tacos.

Avocado rolls: tortillas well-crisped, and yes there was definitely avocado, but they were mushy.  Among us we determined that the unpleasantness came from lack of texture.  Texture, not many understand, is an important element in food.  Some more chunky tomatoes or carrot slices would help.

The burger was decent, although a bit on the greasy side.  I was quite pleased with the Mediterranean tacos, even though the yogurt sauce was more like water than what you normally expect with your gyro-style dishes.

When our waiter came to bag our food, he was surprised when we asked for the check.  He thought he'd already given it to us.  He might do well to lay off the doobage until after his shift.

All in all, it was food.  Decent price.  Service a bit dicey, but frankly, that's about as good as it gets these days.






 


Thursday, February 24, 2022

Overheard at Table 1: Russia Invades Ukraine

Billy: Russia just rolled into Ukraine today.

Joe: And so it begins.

Jim: Zelenskyy compared Putin to Hitler.

Bob: So Ukraine is Putin's Poland?

Billy: It's more like Putin's Czechoslovakia.

Joe: Poland is next.

Jim: So Poland will be Putin's Poland.

Bob: Exactly.




https://www.iwm.org.uk/history/how-britain-hoped-to-avoid-war-with-germany-in-the-1930s

https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/putin-orders-military-operations-ukraine-demands-kyiv-forces-surrender-2022-02-24/