Overheard at Table 4: Deacon in Training - A Husband of One Wife

Deacon in Training

Husband of one wife


In current American/Latino culture, can mean a guy who is faithful to his wife.
As in ... a man who is not seeking sexual conquests.

Morally pure.

But the "husband of one wife" can mean more.

In ancient cultures, men were able to take on extra wives for several reasons, including if a woman's husband died, the brother could take her as wife, even if he was already married.

Having multiple wives was also a way for the wealthy to increase their wealth, consolidate their wealth, and grow their wealth.

So, in the primitive church, a husband of one wife may have had the meaning that, to be a deacon in service to Jesus Christ, you ONLY had one wife, meaning that you were: 1) of humble means (not having too much wealth), and 2) you had the time and energy to focus on ministry (let's be honest: maintaining multiple households takes a lot of time and energy!)

So, yes, while in our age, this is definitely an admonition against machismo and adultery and fornication, it also speaks of having a stable, maintainable household, in which your marital needs are met, but is not too much that it keeps you away from ministry.

On a last tactic: I would also propose (although this is just my opinion), that it is important to for a deacon to HAVE a wife.  Why?  For two reasons

1) A man who has a wife knows what it is to have marital responsibilities, which should make him better equipped to understand the needs of people to whom he is ministering.

2) A man who has no wife and falls in love, well, that takes a lot of time.  When two people fall in love, several studies have shown that there are approximately two full years of a "bliss" in which the two people can only think of each other, that their entire waking moment is only for each other.  This is the "everything is perfect" stage of the relationship.  Such a courtship makes a person almost incapable of taking on the responsibilities of a deacon.  It is best for a person to be past this stage and in a stable, loving, supportive marriage, which should equip the person best to take on the responsibilities of such a ministry.

Overheard at Booth 2: Daughter's New Job

Wife: ... and don't go telling people that she works for the owner of the company.

Husband: Why not?  That's cool.

Wife: It makes it seem like it's not that important.  You are making the job seem less than what it is.   By saying the lady owns her own company, it makes it sound like it's a small firm.

Husband: Well it is.  They only have ten employees.  But it's cool.  Our daughter is the executive assistant to the president of an interior design firm before she has even finished her degree.

Wife: And that's all you have to say.  Just stop there.  You always give too many details and people won't imagine that it's all that important.

Husband: I know you're wrong on this one, but I just don't know how to say it.

Wife: Then say nothing.  It's better if you just stop talking.

Overheard at Booth 1: (Don't) Take Me Back to Tulsa

Once, I overheard my wife singing, "Don't take me back to Tulsa" in a stereotypical country twang ... like an old Hank Thompson style.

So, I tried to write these lyrics:

(Don't) Take Me Back to Tulsa


Don't take me back to Tulsa,
'Cuz I don't wanna go.
I left T-town so far behind
Such a long long time ago.

There's nothing for me in Tulsa,
That place is a godless pit,
The only good thing in Tulsa
I took with me when I split.

Yeah my kids were born in Tulsa,
That's the best that I can say,
The sun shines brightest in Tulsa,
The day you make your getaway,

Yeah, the day you get away!




MR
2014-0629, updated and edited 2020-0814

Overheard at Table 3: My Dad's Wedding

When my dad got divorced and said that he had started dating again, at first I was afraid that he would bring over some woman who was my age ...

was even a bit weirder than that!  He started dating a guy who was two years younger than me.

The wedding was strange too... all these guys who were really FIT, all glancing over in my direction.

My wife finally put her arm around my waist and said, "Don't worry, baby, I'll protect you from all these queens!"

Then one of the groomsmen, who heard her, said to me, "THAT lady is a keeper, you just remember that, honey!"

Overheard at Booth 1: Faith Hope and Charity

Wife: We named our daughters Faith, Hope, and Charity.

Husband: Biblical, you know.

Wife: Yeah, Biblical.  But now they're in high school and Charity is still in Junior High but she makes her sisters mad all the time by quoting 1 Corinthians 13:12.

Husband: The greatest of the three is Charity.

Wife: Yeah, all the time she's saying, "The greatest is Charity!  The greatest is Charity."

Husband: We should have named her Grace.

Overheard at Table 4: Emotionally Available

Last week, my wife told me I needed to be more emotionally available to the kids.
So I was more emotionally available... I asked them about their hopes and dreams, and told them that I was there for them.  They looked at me like I was weird and went back to their phones.

Then, when I was feeding the dogs, the dogs were wanting to lick me, so I asked the dogs if the dogs needed me to be more emotionally available.  They seemed to say that yes, they did, but they would love me either or.

Then, I asked the cats if the cats needed me to me more emotionally available.  The cats flat out told me that they just need me to be more food available, and after I feed them I am free to bugger off.

Overheard at Table 2: Divorce Diet

Lindsey: Oh my gawd i havent seen you in forever you look GREAT!

Amy: Aw thanks ive been on a divorce diet.

Lindsey: Instantly dropped 200 pounds of dead weight?

Amy: Thats the one!

Lindsey: Well it looks GREAT on you!

Amy: You should try it too.

Lindsey: Im filling out the paperwork on Monday.

Amy: Awesome!  you GO girl!