Overheard at Booth 3: Pandora Ads

I swear I'm just sitting there trying to add Iron and Wine to my Pandora radio and my wife suddenly jumps down my throat wanting to know why I'm looking at women's cleavage. I say 'what are you talking about?' and she says 'right there! you're looking at meeting singles!'

and I'm not looking at singles, I'm just sitting there listening to Pandora, it's those stupid ads they got all over the place, how am I supposed to know how to turn 'em off?

I swear, damn internet, always throwing bimbos at you, that and Viagra ads, what's that all about? I don't need Viagra! Do they know something I don't? Like, are they saying I'm gonna need it here pretty soon?

Scary thought!

Overheard at Table 1: How Dare You

from 366.

70.

How dare you come here
. . . and cook my food.

How dare you come here
. . . and build my house.

How dare you come here
. . . and mow my lawn.

How dare you come here
. . . and clean my office.

How dare you come here
. . . and work the land.

How dare you come here
. . . and repair my roof.

How dare you come here
. . . and dig my new swimming pool.

How dare you come here
. . . and be a nanny for my babies.

How dare you come here
. . . and work in my meat packing plants.

How dare you come here
. . . so that, every time I happen to see you,

I gotta feel so
ashamed.

Overheard at Table 3: the Truth

Basically, it all boils down to this: humanity, all of humanity, is pissed off because we know, at our core, that we just can't kill God.

Overheard at Booth 4: Black Bra on the Floor

from 366

64.

The black bra, cast askance

in the middle of the bedroom floor,

a-once upon a time,

was a leftover

from a night of passionate desire,

and an youcouldntwaitto

get into

bed/yet

now,

only signifies,

that you were too fatigued

to make it all the way to the hamper.

--------------------------------------------------------

Sara: and you know what my husband told me last night?

Jen: what?

Sara: right as we were going to sleep, right as we were getting ready to go to sleep, he tells me

'honey, i saw your black bra right there, in the middle of the floor, right on the way to the bathroom today' and i said, 'yeah?' and he said, 'i remember when that used to mean the night before you were so hot for me you couldn't wait to jump me in bed'

Jen: yeah! and . . . ?!

Sara: and then he says, 'now it just means that you were too tired to make it all the way to the clothes hamper!'

Jen: oh! that is so sad!

Sara: i know, i told him 'when did we get so OLD!' and he says, 'we're not old, we're just middle aged' and so i said, 'so when did we get so BORING?!'

Overheard at Table 3: Hotness

a guy on his cellphone:

"do I think you're hot? Baby, I KNOW you're hot. The question is - are you hot for ME?"

Overheard at Table 4: a Fanfare for the Common Man

"you know all these people are all up in arms about when you go online all these people know everything about you and they're gonna track you and they're gonna send you all these ads based on the places you go and things you like, and I gotta tell you I don't think it's as bad as all that, because

at least it shows SOMEBODY out there is paying attention to me!"

At the Counter: Verble's pages on his iPad

News Breaks

February 29, 2012
07:26 EDT
USB, GS, JPM, WFC, C, MS, BAC
theflyonthewall.com:
Dimon will 'be damned' if JPMorgan doesn't see record profit soon, FT says
JPMorgan Chase's (JPM) CEO Jamie Dimon assured investors with certainty that last year’s revenue declines were temporary and not a seismic shift, stating, “We’re telling you it is cyclical. I’m not hedging that,” while speaking at the company's analyst day, according to Financial Times. He added, “I’ll be damned if we don’t have record profits for the next year or two,” as quoted by FT. Reference Link :theflyonthewall.




And here's my favourite:


from investorplace.com 2-29-12:

JPMorgan: Accounts with Under $100,000 Are Afterthoughts
Regulations blamed for increasing costs on banks
Feb 29, 2012, 11:29 am EST By InvestorPlace Staff

JPMorgan Chase & Co. (NYSE:JPM), now the largest U.S. bank by assets since it leapfrogged Bank of America (NYSE:BAC), is not exactly well-liked among the “little guy.” JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon has said that the wealthiest Americans need more tax breaks. Dimon has also said so-called Volcker rule to limit proprietary trading by big banks says “if you interpret it, you can’t even make markets for your clients.”
If small-time investors and consumer bankers need more fuel for their fire, here it is: JPM execs recently went on the record saying that most folks with less than $100,000 are actually a burden on the bank.

Specifically, JPMorgan Chase said that 70% of its customers with less than $100,000 in deposits and investments will be unprofitable following regulations that cap lenders’ fees.
“Lost revenue has to be replaced with higher share of wallet and customer penetration,” Todd Maclin, chief executive officer of consumer and business banking at JPM, said in a recent presentation. “You have to get your costs and where you spend your time, to the fullest extent possible, more in line with where the opportunity is.”
In short, if you’re a small-time banker… you really won’t end up mattering that much to JPMorgan Chase.
Is that just posturing by the bank as a way to push Congress and regulators to ease guidelines that are increasing costs? Maybe. After all, telling your customers they don’t matter is dangerous move that few businesses would make without some kind of ulterior motive.
But for those who think that banks and financial institutions don’t care a whit about customer service and are just out to stick it to the little guy… well, this soundbite may just be more proof.
, said about 70 percent of customers with less than $100,000 in deposits and investments will be unprofitable following regulations that cap lenders’ fees.



Verble says, "Any person who has an account with JPMorganChase Bank and who DOES NOT CLOSE THEIR ACCOUNT either has a machine doing their breathing for them, or else they esteem themselves lower than canine feces on the bottom of their shoe."