Overheard at Table 4: Hurricane Matthew

I was listening to NPR yesterday morning and they were talking to a reporter that they had down there in Haiti, and I knew, I just KNEW, the moment I heard the question, that there was going to be some lame-ass answer, and they asked, "What was the Hurricane like in Haiti?" and there was this millisecond where I was just cringing, and then the answer:

"Well . . . there was a lot of rain, and a lot of wind."

And I said NO SHIT!  Out loud!  Even though it was only me in the car.  Of course!  It's a HURRICANE!   By the very definition there is a lot of rain and a lot of water.

I want description.  I want imagery.  I want that reporter to say something like, "The rain came tearing through the island like a frat boy on a 'roid rage after slamming down tequila shots!"  or  "The wind blew harder than a coked-out porn star!"

That may not be poetry, but it damn sure beats, "there was a lot of rain.  there was a lot of wind."