Saturday, August 20, 2016

Overheard at Table 4: Suitcases Totally Lit

Wife: God, I was so embarrassed when we got to my brother's house.  Tami opened her suitcase and it just totally REEKED of pot.

Husband: Hm.

Wife: Don't start.

Husband: I didn't start anything.

Wife: I see your face.

Husband: My face is saying nothing.  My face is drinking my espresso.

Wife: Whatever.  I asked her did you bring anything with you you better not have brought anything with you.  And she said no she didn't and not to start getting on her case because she already lives on her own.  So she was right, I had no right to say anything on this trip.

Husband: Yes, you did.  You had every right.  You should have told her she's 19, and dope is still illegal in Texas.  If she wants to smoke pot she can move to Colorado or California or Oregon or wherever, but she'll still have to be 21 there anyway.

Wife: Well she doesn't live with us any more, because you got so mad.

Husband: She was smoking pot in our house!  Your 83 year old MOTHER told us right when we walked in the door from work.  What the hell did you expect me to do?  Give her a bong for Christmas?

Wife: She's out of the house OK?  God I hadn't talked to her in two weeks since then.  She came on this trip with me to help out my brother.  It was the first time we'd talked.   So just back off.

Husband: OK, fine.  Just glad she didn't blaze up in your brother's house.

Wife: Still, it was embarrassing.  So there's that.  Are you happy?  I was embarrassed, are you happy?

Husband: How in the hell could that make me happy?

Wife: Because you always like to be right.

Husband: What the hell is so wrong with wanting my daughter not to commit a crime in our house?

Wife: Maybe if she were your real daughter you would love her more.

Husband: Been in her life since she was three.  I think that's counts as pretty real.

Wife: It's almost real.  But not real enough.

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