Overread at the Counter: Once

Once

Once,

we floundered, and then our love

was this dead thing, that we dissected

with a pair of pruning hooks on the

floor of the shed out back behind the house.

we did it quietly,

so the neighbors could not hear us over the garden wall,

burying the pieces in various spots in the yard:

under the flower bed,

in the potted plant,

and one tiny shard that I crushed into the soft earth

moistened by the slow constant drip from the

outside faucet that I never could get around to fixing.

then, the next day, we walked out the front

door and you went to the bus station and

I took the car into the city

and no one was ever the wiser.

2014-0417

MR

Psalm 10

Psalm 10 King James Version (KJV)

10 Why standest thou afar off, O LORD? why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble?

2 The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor: let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined.

3 For the wicked boasteth of his heart's desire, and blesseth the covetous, whom the LORD abhorreth.

4 The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.

5 His ways are always grievous; thy judgments are far above out of his sight: as for all his enemies, he puffeth at them.

6 He hath said in his heart, I shall not be moved: for I shall never be in adversity.

7 His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and fraud: under his tongue is mischief and vanity.

8 He sitteth in the lurking places of the villages: in the secret places doth he murder the innocent: his eyes are privily set against the poor.

9 He lieth in wait secretly as a lion in his den: he lieth in wait to catch the poor: he doth catch the poor, when he draweth him into his net.

10 He croucheth, and humbleth himself, that the poor may fall by his strong ones.

11 He hath said in his heart, God hath forgotten: he hideth his face; he will never see it.

12 Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up thine hand: forget not the humble.

13 Wherefore doth the wicked contemn God? he hath said in his heart, Thou wilt not require it.

14 Thou hast seen it; for thou beholdest mischief and spite, to requite it with thy hand: the poor committeth himself unto thee; thou art the helper of the fatherless.

15 Break thou the arm of the wicked and the evil man: seek out his wickedness till thou find none.

16 The LORD is King for ever and ever: the heathen are perished out of his land.

17 LORD, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear:

18 To judge the fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may no more oppress.

King James Version (KJV)
by Public Domain

Overheard at Table Two: Border Children

Lucky Moran:  what really bugs me is hearing Boehner talking yesterday about the President wanting $3.7 billion to send the kids back home, and then he just launches off into this tirade about how the President never takes responsibility for his action.

Otis Redwing:  that's a red herring, definitely.

Lucky:  I mean, how in the hell can you turn a border crisis into a personal blame game?

Otis:  that's Washington, my friend.

Lucky: just frikkin' nuts, I mean, look at it:  the President and the GOP want the same thing: TO CHANGE THE 2008 LAW AND EXPEDITE DEPORTATIONS!   So why are the House Republicans all "up in his grill" (as the kids like to say these days!) and blaming him for causing the problem?

Otis: you know what I think, my friend.

Lucky:  dude, no!  Not again!  No, it's not because he's black.

Otis: it's all because he's black.   These dudes have had their panties in a wad ever since they saw his high yellow skin come traipsing across that platform and the DNC.   They were all secretly rooting for Hillary to grab the nomination, because hell, they all know how to beat down a woman, they know how to manipulate and denigrate women, but a black man?  That's pushing all the secret buttons, right there.

Lucky:  dude, you can't keep playing the black card.   This is because he's a liberal, and the GOP just wants all the power.

Otis: how many times do we have to go over this?  You know as well as I do that both parties are in the same deep pocket.   What you just mentioned, that Obama wants the very same thing that the Republicans want, is absolute proof that this is a personal hatred.   They said they wouldn't agree with a damn thing he ever says or does, and they came out in his first time and laid out the plan.   Nobody does that unless it's personal.   And since he really hadn't had the time in Washington to build up any real enemies, and it can't be because he's a man, it's got to be because of who he represents, and he represents the success of the black man.

Lucky:  even when the black man is dancing to your own tune?

Otis:  they may have to allow him into the band, but they certainly don't like him hogging the spotlight!

A bumper sticker:

HERMAPHRODITES UNITE!

Overheard at Table Two: SoCo

So my wife really likes her Southern Comfort, and so we snuck some in to Captain America.  So we got the boys in their seats with their popcorn and slushies and we waited until the lights got dark, and you know you're always trying to be quiet and there I was, trying to be quiet, and unscrew the top and there's this

PSSHHHT

as the bottle top comes off, and then I don't know what happened but the bottle slipped out of my hand and it didn't just hit the floor and go clink it went

SMASHHHH!

I mean that thing shattered.   This theatre was packed, man, and suddenly the whole place started to reek like SoCo, and these people a few rows ahead of us, they got up and they WALKED OUT.  

Then a minute later, an usher comes in and he goes to the people right in front of us, and he said, "Please, I'm going to need you to come with me."  So they get up and go with him, and then about a minute after that the trailers stop and the lights come on and like the manager and a few of the staff come back into the theatre and they start walking up aisle by aisle and when they finally get to the wife and kids and me, they don't even have to say anything, because there's all the glass right there at my feet.

So there we were, the whole family, getting kicked out of Captain America!

The wife and I, man, we laughed so hard all the way to the CAR!!

Overheard at Booth 4: It's NOT Complicated!

I keep hearing everyone today talking about how their relationships, they say "It's complicated" - they say that all the time.  So, how's your boyfriend?   It's complicated.    So, are you gonna ask this girl out or not?   It's complicated.

I just wanna say, no no NO!  It's NOT complicated!   It's very simple.    You either want to:

1) Be around that person, or
2) Have sex with that person, or
3) Both, or
4) Neither.

There are only FOUR options.   It's not complicated at ALL!

Overheard at Table Two: Abercrombie and Sao Paolo

"My teenage daughter got a job at Abercrombie and Fitch.  She went to work in these cutoff jeans that were so short you could've called them a belt!   She tells me that's their dress code, so I looked it up and she's right.  That IS their dress code.   Apparently working at Abercrombie and Fitch you have to look like a Brazilian girl on the beach at Sao Paolo."