Overheard at Table 1: The Frozen Thames by Helen Humphries

One of the best books I've read all year . . .

and I've been reading like a mad dog, lemme tellya!

This one is incredible! Here's the synopsis real quick: these are forty short pieces, about two to five pages long, each one set at each time the River Thames has frozen over during the recorded history of London. This starts back in the twelfth century, and just goes forward, sometimes a generation or two, sometimes with a hundred years between stories, sometimes one year after another.

Each story is told from the point of view of a different type of character - sometimes a Queen, sometimes a cobbler, one of my favorites was from the person who looses the royal dogs on the rabbits, one was set during the plague year, it talks about the fairs that were held on the frozen river.

It's partly a character study, and partly a history lesson. Personally, I think that's when literature really rises above just simply telling a story, when it can actually encompass history, make it come alive.

And I know it sounds silly to say this, but it's absolutely true - when I was reading this book (and lemme tellya I was reading it at the tail end of this summer!), I actually could feel the chill of the ice, I could almost see my breath coming out in little puffs of steam, I could taste the moisture which was frozen in the air.

And that - is good writing.

Overheard at Booth 3

"and my eleven year old couldn't go to sleep last night he kept saying that the top of his head hurt, and my husband looked at it and said, 'It's just a pimple, now go to bed' and he kept coming out saying that he couldn't sleep, and finally my husband gets up and goes into our room and comes out with this cream that he rubs into the spot on the top of his head, where it hurts, the pimple, and my son says, 'what is that?' and my husband tells him, it's itch-stopping cream, and he goes off to bed, and I ask him 'will that really stop his scalp from itching?' and he looks at me and says, 'I don't know - but it'll sure kill his athlete's foot!"

At the Counter: the Fantasy of the Middle Class

Niall Carter, John Steppenwolf, and Hugo Payton Payne and sitting at the counter, while the Barista cleans the espresso machine.

They're discussing politics. Niall is saying, "I thought Greta Van Shusterson was the only one I could stand on Fox News, even though she was trying to sidetrack John Bolton the other night."

John Steppenwolf says, "I caught that. He was focusing on America's drug addiction and she was trying to bring him back to admitting we need more troops on the border."

Niall, "But the next night, she was 'interviewing' (and I use that word loosely!) the Dem Senator from Louisiana, and just grilling her! I mean, this is supposed to be a reporter, and instead of asking questions, she is saying, 'What I think is . . . blah blah blah . . . the American people are mad at all of you blah blah blah' - it was disgusting! That's - not - reporting."

Payne says, "That's because there is no reporting any more. There is no free press. A free press is as dead as bellbottoms. Fox News turned the press into a carnival. The public goes to see the carnival they want to watch. They want to watch acrobats, they turn on acrobats. They want to see elephants, they turn to elephants."

Steppenwolf, "They want to see Roman gladiators killing Christians, they turn on Fox News."

Payne, "Exactly."

"Well," Niall says, "Personally it just makes me sick. I just want hard news. Facts. Let me decide for myself. Give me the facts, the objective truth, and I'll determine. I don't want the press telling me that this or that is bad."

"It's treating you like a child," Payne says, "The conservatives who have bought the press have you addicted to candy, like a child is addicted to candy, and they will keep spoon-feeding it to you to keep you addicted."

"Until when? Until all my teeth fall out?"

"Metaphorically speaking," Payne replies. "The goal is to create an oligarchy while maintain the illusion of limited government. Limited government means nothing more than business has no restrictions, and business has only one goal in mind, and one goal only:"

"To make money," Steppenwolf says.

"Right. And when they have your money, they will loan it back to you again and again and again until you are doing nothing but paying the interest on the money that you used to have. That's why this is important to remember, whenever you hear any politicians talking about the middle class, they are either blind or corrupt. There is no middle class any more. When they say 'middle class' they are trying to pander to everybody, because everybody believes that they are middle class. Only the very rich and the very poor know exactly where they are. Everybody else is just fooling themselves."

"So if there is no middle class," says Niall Carter, "where are we?"

"We are here, in the Zen and Tao Cafe, having coffee and wondering why we're not saving enough for retirement."

"I think I see where you're going with this," says Steppenwolf, "and if we have to ask ourselves that question . . ."

". . . then we're not among the rich," concludes Niall.

"Precisely," says Payne. "Precisely."

Overheard at Booth 1: the girl says

I'm tired.

And stupid exam week is next week.

And I want some gum . . . watermelon is preferred.

At the Counter: Cold Turkey Instant Karma and all that jazz

Verble says to John Steppenwolf, "I always get a little misty eyed, on this day, of all days . . ."

"Yeah," says Steppenwolf, "in memory of John, right?"

"That's right. It's amazing how a semi-accomplished guitarist could have made so many excellent acoustic tunes."

"Really?" says the Barista. "Most people remember him for all his Peace Love and Understanding."

"Ah, that was a myth, a persona he used because it felt good. He was really a right regular wank most of the time - but the beautiful part of him came out in some of his best tunes . . . and I'm not talking 'Strawberry Fields' or 'Come Together', no, I'm talking more like 'Norwegian Wood' 'Across the Universe' 'Julia' . . . "

"Two Virgins?" offers Steppenwolf.

"Musical masturbation," counters Verble. "Told you he was a wank, but still . . . man, Lennon did make some great songs. 'Dear Prudence' - gives me chills to this VERY DAY!"

Overheard at Table 4

1: I thought John Bolton was spot on last night on Greta Van Shusterwhatever's show, they were talking about the 14-year-old headchopper and he made the point that all in all, when you really break it down, this is all about our drug addiction. If we weren't buying, they wouldn't be selling.

2: Probably though we should really think about sending more troops down there. Enough of this war on terror, which is halfway around the world and stagnated like a skyscraper on wheels moving through Louisiana swampland, we should really use those same troops to take care of the drug cartels.

1: But that's the point - those cartels wouldn't BE so strong if WE didn't have all the drug addicts! Bolton was funny, he said "I don't know who the drug addicts are, but somebody's buying them to the tune of 5 billion dollars!"

3: That's where he's lying. He does know who the drug addicts are. He's in government, for goodness sake! That's what I can't stand, all the politicians thinking this is a drug problem of the lower masses. Listen, meth addicts don't import their drugs - they make it in their kitchens! Same with crack. The poor have to make their own whack drugs. Now the coke users, the smack junkies, they can get theirs from sources. But the high class, now they're the ones who get their designer cocaine from the Columbia and the wherever. So don't beleive them when they try to pass this off as the addiction of the poor.

[a pause]

1: You seem to know an awful lot about the drug trade. Is there something you wanna tell us?

"Before the Flood" by W.S. Merwyn

Why did he promise me
that we would build ourselves

an ark all by ourselves

out in back of the house

on New York Avenue

in Union City New Jersey

to the singing of the streetcars

after the story

of Noah whom nobody

believed about the waters

that would rise over everything

when I told my father

I wanted us to build

an ark of our own there

in the back yard under

the kitchen could we do that

he told me that we could

I want to I said and will we

he promised me that we would

why did he promise that

I wanted us to start then

nobody will believe us

I said that we are building

an ark because the rains

are coming and that was true

nobody ever believed

we would build an ark there

nobody would believe

that the waters were coming