Scene: a Cruise Liner - on deck. A man is standing by the railing and sees a woman suddenly fall overboard into the water.
Man: Oh my GOD! Woman overboard! Someone throw her a life preserver.
Another Person: How do you know it's a "her"?
Yet Another Person: Absolutely! You should use "they" if they have not told your their gender.
And Yet One More Person: You should be ashamed of yourself, presuming someone's identity like that!
Man: Holy shit, it doesn't matter! She's ... I mean, THEY ... are drowning. Quick, grab that life preserver.
[goes to where the preserver is]
AP: Wait. How do you know they WANT to be saved?
YAP: True! Are you doing something against their will?
Man: I just saw her fall!
AYOMP: You just saw THEY fall.
YAP: Wouldn't that be "You just saw THEM fall"?
AYOMP: You know, I'm not really sure.
AP: THEM is still the direct object, THEY is the pronoun.
YAP: Just doesn't sound quite right though.
AP: You need to shake off the last vestiges of your Colonizer mentality, and just let grammar FLOWWWWWW...
Man: For Fuck's sake just THROW THE LIFE PRESERVER AND LET THEY/THEM DECIDE IF THEY/THEM WANT TO BE SAVED OR NOT!
YAP: The Cis-male has a good point.
[They throw the life preserver overboard]
Man [looking over the railing, shakes his head]: Never mind. They drowned.
[Man walks off, looking for the nearest bar]
AP [to YAP]: How do you know he's Cis? Did he TELL you he's Cis?
AYOMP: You mean "Did THEY tell you ..."
[scene ends]